A student recently asked the following question:
I wish someone could help me with my confidence, with myself, and my instinct in men. About a year ago, I broke up with my all-through-high-school boyfriend because he gave me the ultimatum I knew was coming eventually: I have sex with him within the next couple of months or we’re done. I broke up with him the next day.
We had been dating since Grade 9, which for him meant we were at that point, while I knew that dating for that long just meant we were close and comfortable and we didn’t need to go that far yet, especially in high school, and ESPECIALLY since I wasn’t ready. This instantly totally crushed my self confidence; if my long-running ex boyfriend couldn’t have waited for me after knowing my true self and the fun person I can be without sex, then who would?
We have been broken up for almost a year now, and though it was extremely difficult to get over him at the beginning, I feel I am fully over his horny ass. And when one door closes… Well, let’s just say I’ve found another boy.
He is in my same residence building here and we met two weeks ago and have been dating for the past week, so we are just getting started. Not only does he go out of his way to compliment me, but he is always putting me first, which I can’t believe since we have only been dating for a minimal 7 days! But because we are only starting, I am wondering… What makes the new guy any different from my ex, and how can I make sure I don’t “waste his time”? Is that really all that guys want in a girl? And though he is so respectful and sweet and caring in the first couple weeks of knowing him, am I just jumping into the arms of the first guy I meet that likes me?
I know I am only 18 and “what would I know about love anyway”, so I just thought you could help me. I am sorry for the long story, but I needed to tell someone, and I thought you would be the perfect person to ask.
Thank you,
P.S. On our first date, I asked “Can I kiss you?” It works like a charm.