Below you will read feedback, reviews, recommendations, and endorsements from campus professionals, educators, students, survivors, and caring individuals such as yourself. For more testimonials, call Rita at 800-329-9390 and she will be happy to send you out an entire packet.
On this page, DISCOVER:
FEEDBACK from COLLEGES & UNIVERSITIES
“Since you came I have not only heard discussions from my staff but also the students about consent and bystander intervention. Already this year students are coming forward quickly to hold their fellow students responsible for sexual harassment as well as other offenses. Survivors are coming forward and my staff is open and ready to care. The day after the event I saw your post-it notes all over the halls. One note on a door read simply ‘I’m here for you.’ It about broke my heart with joy. Thank you for what you do.”
Kate Flowers, Residence Life
Southern Utah University (UT)
“We invited student leaders in positions as Resident Assistants, Orientation leaders, Greek Life members, and Campus Activities to the Talk Back session with Mike. Mike gave our student leaders some great tools for facilitating difficult conversations! The role playing Mike had students do was especially effective in creating real situations our student leaders find themselves in when dealing with alcohol, sexual violence, and other “hot” topics. Our students left the program feeling confident in their ability to navigate these conversations in the future.”
Jill Batten, Student Activities
Central College (IA)
We recently hosted Mike Domitrz here at UF and he actually spoke to all of the student athletes (including the National Championship football team!) and students “at-large” about these issues. Mike is a phenomenal speaker and comes with my highest recommendation if you are ever interested (or your Wellness program) in hosting him. His presentations are very interactive, funny but insightful and thought-provoking at the same time. He is fantastic.
Beth-Anne Blue, Ph.D., Student Mental Health Services & C.A.R.E. Coordinator
University of Florida (FL)
“First, I’d like to say how great it was to work with you again. Our students and staff really enjoyed meeting you. I know I speak for everyone at Point Park University when I say, thank you for everything you do. You have helped open the eyes of our students to consent in relationships and sexual violence issues. You have enabled them to take a stand and she the respect that everyone deserves.
Generally, student attendance at Point Park University events ranges between 40-50 students. “Can I Kiss You?” was a HUGE success at Point Park University. Our official attendance at the event was more than 225 students, making the most successful program all year . . . Many students would like you to return year after year. All the students thought this was an important issue and they appreciated how you approached the topic. According to one of our students ‘Mike provides a good balance of humor and seriousness in his program. He really gets you thinking.’ This is a sentiment that I share. I will be certain to promote this program to all my colleagues, as I know my students will to all their friends.
“Can I Kiss You?” is such a wonderful program and I highly recommend it for all colleges and universities. If I can ever serve as a reference for you please contact me over the phone or through email.”
John M. Mayo, Jr. Community Director Coordinator, The Sophomore Experience
Point Park University (PA)
“Mike was a pleasure to work with. He was extremely professional and is clearly passionate about making a difference in people’s lives. Can I Kiss You? was a fantastic presentation that exceeded our expectations. The students were engaged from the moment he began to the moment he stopped.
We’ve brought in most of the big names on the college circuit who are doing sexual assault prevention programming and Mike’s Can I Kiss You? program tops the list of powerful programs.
We would definitely hire Mike again. I would strongly recommend him for college audiences without reservations. Can I Kiss You? shows students a simple way to vastly improve communication and proves to them that it’s worth trying because it will work!”
Rebecca Magerkorth, PhD,
University of West Florida
Listen to Mary Jo, Alcohol Prevention Coordinator, in Rapid City, SD
(Click on the play button below)
“Great Program! Touched on every aspect we were hoping it to (i.e. dating, sex, drugs/alcohol, rape, sexual assault). Definitely got all the students involved and spoke on our level. Mike is so easy to work with! The students loved him! I look forward to seeing him speak again.” Click here to download students’ comments.
Erica Lovano, Women’s Center
University of San Diego (CA)
“It was an awesome evening! Everyone really enjoyed it. You presented such important issues in such a non-threatening manner. We will definitely be asking you to return to our campus. Even one of my students, who initially came just for some extra credit, commented that he was glad he came, even if there wasn’t the extra credit, and that he really liked it.
Thank you again for this presentation. You are really on track by connecting with the audience. I will be in touch with you again, that’s for sure!”
“Thanks to you for your presence on campus last night. People are talking today–all good, good things, obviously. It’s just beyond cool to see students enjoying a program that I know they’re learning something from…imagine that!! Obviously I think every college would benefit from having you on campus, and the three that I’ve worked at have all experienced your magic. I’ll keep thinking about others I’d like to refer. Thanks again!!
Jayne K. Sommers, Area Coordinator & First Year Programs
Hamline University (MN)
“Can there be a more difficult audience than 500 plus college freshman required to attend a lecture on sexual assault? That’s exactly what Mike Domitrz faced when he visited Berry College on September 6, 2004 . . .
It took Mike very little time, however, to get the entire, jaded audience on his side. Five minutes into his presentation, students were falling over each other, vying for the chance to come to the front of the room and interact with Mike in front of their peers. . . . ”
Katherine Powell, Director
1st-Year Experience at Berry College (GA)
“Audiences respond to the humor and energy in Mike’s writing and presentations about intimacy in relationships. After capturing their curiosity and respect, Mike leads his audience in a profoundly practical exploration of the importance of asking.”
Dr. Debra Mashek, George Mason University (VA) and Editor of
Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy
“Mike Domitrz is a very professional presenter. His presentation style captivated the audience. He uses a very unique approach to the subject matter and drew all the listeners in. . . He made the audience think and react. The students thought he was a ‘breathe of fresh air‘. His approach to dating was, ‘fresh‘, ‘different‘, and quite ‘unique‘. The presentation was only scheduled for an hour but he managed to keep them in their seats for almost two hours.
Mike was extremely easy to work with. He is a very committed performer. He is definitely going to come back to Wright State University if I have any say in the matter.”
Toyette L. Sullivan, Office of Student Life
Wright State University (OH)
“You did an amazing job and I think your presentation is highly effective. Thanks again for all that you do to spread a very important message!
Angela Oliver, Assistant Director- SILC. Emily Taylor Women’s Resource Center
University of Kansas
Letters from COLLEGES & UNIVERSITIES
Click on the school and/or conference name below to download each letter talking about the impact the “Can I Kiss You?” program and Mike Domitrz had on their students.
Call 800-329-9390 Today & Discover the Difference!
SPECIAL OFFER: By calling 800-329-9390 today, you will receive a complimentary copy of the critically-acclaimed book “May I Kiss You?” by Mike Domitrz. Schools throughout the country use this book as curriculum in the classroom and for creating positive change with their students.
College Students Reacting & Sharing
loved the presentation, thought it was awesome! The skits you acted out were hysterical, but SO true, also you definitely made an impression on some of the males in the freshman class cause i’ve heard through the grape vine and from friends that the question “can i kiss you?” has been asked quite a bit!
All I can say is WOW!! I attended one of his sessions for the Peer-Ed people and his “Can I Kiss You?” program too and both were amazing. I truly enjoyed everything…and everything he had to say was so true. Guys and Girls all have a lot to learn about communication, and this is a great way to get people started talking. Along with this, I thought his approach to talking about sexual assault was very enlightening, and I have pledged to support survivors. The whole program really makes you think, about everything you’ve done or haven’t done in a relationship. So I just want to say THANK YOU MIKE! For sharing your time with us, sharing your message, and hopefully opening the eyes of those around you.
I know you won’t remember me. But I will never forget your words and your compassion!!
I have used the ‘asking first’ approach with my boyfriend and he has used it with me. It has really helped us to have great communication with each other, and we have a very healthy and happy relationship. Asking helps to make the relationship more open and comfortable. If you ask first or are asked there is a lot more trust in the relationship and the trust is maintained far more easily. I want to thank you so much. Your program has helped me to move forward past some issues I have had with men and relationships. I am now in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend who also attended your program. On our second date he used the ‘asking first” approach. It really does work, and it is so wonderful for our relationship. Again I want to thank you so much for your program ‘Can I Kiss You?’.
There was a guy on campus to ask me out and it was just after your talk so the words were fresh in my head (the poster hangs on my dorm door) so at the end of the date I asked him if I could kiss him. He seemed surprised that I would ask, but because of that we’ve become closer. We respect each other and that has become the bases for our relationship, not physical pleasure. My mum was a victim of rape and has been very worried about the same thing happening to me. I never really got it until after I heard your talk. It really made me realize things that we take for granted. I hadn’t wanted to go when I heard the title of your talk, but I will never regret going to hear you speak. Your words changed my life and how I view myself and my mum. Thank you.
I have always been that girl who had a boyfriend, but I am currently in one of the most successful relationships I’ve ever had. We’ve been dating for a really long time and haven’t lost that spark—and we’re doing the long distance thing. One thing that my boyfriend does that no one else has done is ask to do things when we’re being intimate. Even after dating for several months (approaching a year) he still asks if, and how, he can please me. He *always* asks, adding that he wants to do exactly what I want. It makes it my choice. It’s so attractive and sexy that it’s impossible to say no, but I know that if I didn’t want to do something, I could tell him. Knowing that makes our relationship so much stronger. I just wanted to reiterate your point–asking can be really sexy, and doesn’t have to ruin the moment at all. In fact, it can make the moment more amazing than it already was! Thanks for coming to our school and letting everyone know how good asking can be! (and feel free to share this story with other people!)
In the fall of 2003, you visited Luther College to give your presentation, which as a first year student I was strongly urged to attend. At the time, I thought the ‘Can I kiss you?’ idea made sense, but that it wasn’t necessarily practical. Either way, I wasn’t in a situation where a romantic relationship was a possibility, so I put it to the back of my mind and didn’t really think about it.
This summer, I met a guy who was interested in me. We decided to get together, and one night we were cuddling on a bench. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me, and I realized that I wasn’t ready for it, but I didn’t have the courage to flat-out refuse him. He wasn’t picking up on my nonverbal signals, and I was starting to get really uncomfortable. Finally, unable to think of anything else to do, I started telling him about your program. About how you’d shown us how nonverbal signals rarely work, and the importance of asking first. Wonder of wonders, he got it! He asked if he could kiss me, and I was able to tell him no (I was still nervous/embarrassed by it, but it was manageable).
That by itself is perhaps a small thing, but I think that it shaped the way the physical parts of our relationship went from that point on. He always asked before we did anything that might make me uncomfortable, and I was always comfortable with telling him to stop if I needed to. I really think that having seen your program and sharing that with him helped to make ours into a healthier relationship. So thank you, Mike, for everything you do. It really does make a difference!
I know several rape or sexual assault survivors. I don’t know why I know so many but knowing them makes my life a better life. I would never go back and say I wish I hadn’t met any of them. To support them when they are nervous or just need a reassurance is magical. It’s hard to get used to the fact that someone you truly love has been raped, you are angry and frustrated. However, being calm and just a listener is all a survivor needs most of the time, and the bond that has grown between some of my friends and I will never be broken. The things Mike said were useful to anyone. It’s true that all you have to say is “Thank you for telling me, That means a lot. I want you to know that if you need me for anything, I will always support you.” That may very well be one of the most influential statements that can be made. Thanks again, Mike!
My sister and I were both raped in the past year. She was assaulted on a Friday and by Monday, I had heard things about it around our high school. I also knew because I had acted the same way after being assaulted. I opened the door and told her that if something happened, she could tell me and I would listen. She told us what happened that night. At the police station they asked her if she said no. I agree that they should ask if he asked. It was great that Mike brought light to that situation (in the “Can I Kiss You?” program). Society does seem to focus on what the survivor does and as a survivor, I know the difference. Thank you again!!! IT (the ‘Can I Kiss You?’ program) WAS AMAZING!!
A couple weeks ago, you spoke here at Gettysburg College. Just 2 days later, I accompanied a female friend of mine to her former boyfriend’s (who had raped her) house where she confronted and said goodbye to him. She had been afraid to do so for 7 months, and she said that it was my simple supportive accompaniment that enabled her to at long last do it. So your presentation was absolutely correct, in that the thing a survivor of sexual assault needs most is just to know that people support her (or so it seems from my experience). Thus I desired to thank you for your presentation here, and I hope that other people can benefit also from it–whether they are the survivor, or the supportive friend as I was.
Hi Mike, I am an athlete on our campus who attended your seminar on Wednesday. I just wanted to let you know how much you put things into perspective. It had never really occurred to me that the simple action of asking for permission could really be that powerful. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and we always used to joke about how me met and how the first time we ever kissed he asked me if he could. I would always laugh and say how cute it was, and of course all of his buddies would make fun of him and call him feminine names. But after listening to what you had to say, I realized that my boyfriend never really stopped asking me for my permission, even after being with me for so long. He truly respects me and my body, and for the first time, I am recognizing it. Nothing ever flagged my brain when he would say something that asked for my consent, so I never really noticed the fact that he wasn’t just doing things because HE felt like it. He wanted to make sure it was something both of us wanted. So basically, I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes to what I have been oblivious to! I really hope your message touches everyone who hears you because I know there are good people out there who can make a difference. Thank you so much for your stories! You truly have a good heart!
The day after seeing this program, I ran into a friend of mine who had also been at the presentation as well. Jokingly, I said to him, “Can I kiss you?” At this point, I should mention that Fred is INCREDIBLY gay, and that I am a female. And he said, “Okay!” So, completely randomly, Fred and I shared a kiss, right there, in the middle of the English department building. It was completely unexpected and beautiful and it’ll probably never happen again. . . it absolutely made my day.
My boyfriend asked me if he could kiss me on our first date, and I thought it was sweet, mature and above all, respectful. We’ve been together for 6 months, and I think there is a definite possibility that he is the man i might marry. And I will always remember our first kiss being perfect. I think asking is a great way to begin an open and honest relationship.
My boyfriend and I are both Greeks on our campus. The first time he went to kiss me, he pulled back. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted to kiss him too, but then he looked me straight in the eyes, and asked if he could kiss me. It melted my heart. When it’s truly sincere, that first kiss means so much more. So I just wanted to let all those disbelievers out there know, that it really does work. If a guy were to ask me to kiss him, it would mean so much more and I would have so much more respect for that person, especially now that I’ve attended your seminar. I’ve never tried the asking first, because I was one of those girls who used to believe that ‘it’s the man’s job,’ but now I’ve realized that it’s my body.
I attended your seminar at Iowa State University in April. At the time, I was only in town for orientation, and the catchy title of your seminar got my attention. I went with my best friend who had been a victim of sexual assault, and afterward I was finally able to respond to her better, and she was able to express herself more clearly and realize it wasn’t her fault. The incident had happened over a year ago and now the healing can finally begin. Thank you for your passion and dedication – I know we weren’t the only ones who were affected.
I tried asking and it was amazingly easier to do. I would definitely ask again because it was like a load was lifted off my shoulders — the guessing game of ‘Do you really like me?’ was gone. I was asked the day after the presentation at my school. I actually told him I’d have to think about it, and the next day I said yes. I’ve been dating him for over a month now, and I’m amazed that he asks before everything. And I can’t be more appreciative.
I was at your program on Sept. 16, 2009 and I got a lot out of what you said. I didn’t realize all the things that we pretty much go through everyday of our lives that you talked about. I now have a greater feeling about myself and others on the importance of the topics you touched upon. Thank you so much for doing what it is that you do. May God Bless you and your family.
To be honest, I didn’t have very high hopes when I heard about this. I’m glad that you were able to change my mind. It was a lot of fun and it definately made me think about people’s actions and to think before I make mine. Also, I’m totally going to ask in the future.
How inspirational and informational! Presentation was perfectly honed to captivate our age group – really left an impression on me.
Thank you for learning from your experience and turning it around to help others.
The performance made change my views of people at parties and I will stand up to them if they try to get someone drunk.
I LOVED the presentation. It was fun and insrtuctional. I’ve heard some of the things said there before, but never really listened. The way it was presented at “Can I Kiss You?” definately got the message through better. I also got asked by a guy to kiss me the next day. It really does work lol.
I loved the presentation. It was hilarious, but had serious undertones. It is important that we see how asking such a simple question can impact relationships so much.
As a rape survivor, I particularly appreciated you talking about how everyone always just says “Sorry.” It is so true that we wind up consoling them, saying “It’s ok.” The night of the show I had three friends say “Thanks for sharing with me.” or “I feel honored that you shared with me.” You have no idea how great it made me feel to hear those things. It was so helpful. I don’t share for sympathy, I share so that others know that these things can happen and how to prevent them from happening. This short part of the presentation helped me so much as I am still trying to recover. It showed me that people are almost afraid and don’t know what to say, rather than just passive or not caring. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
The presentation was absolutely great. It was funny and therefore entertaining while being educational. Definitely enjoyed it and learned some things I might not have even thought about trying before. Thank you for coming to TCNJ!!!
loved the presentation..this guy actually asked can i kiss you a few nights later lol
The presentation changed my life and many people iv’e seen around. I have heard people asking “may I kiss you?” The presentation was very funny and loved every second of it and I wish many other people could see it and learn the right way to do things.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR FEEDBACK? Are you a college student who has attended the “Can I Kiss You?” program on your campus? If so, visit our Online Forums to share your feedback and thoughts.
SURVIVORS DISCUSS PROGRAM
The most important person in the audience of a program discussing sexual assault is each SURVIVOR. While many programs discuss the pain of sexual assault, you want to insure the presentation you bring to campus UPLIFTS and provides each survivor a positive outlook for the future. Read below to see the difference the “Can I Kiss You?” program and Mike Domitrz’s approach is making with survivors!
“Your program was absolutely an amazing one to watch. I happen to be a victim of sexual assault and your program definitely helped me to realize that people do care. In my situation, i told only a few people, but no one believed me. When you mentioned how you should call up someone that you care about or even love to tell them that you’re there for them, it brought tears to my eyes. When i eventually told my story, so many people did not believe me, and it hurt. I felt like no one was there for me when i needed them most. It brought tears to my eyes also because my little sister has been forced against her will to perform sexual acts on an older boyfriend she once had, and she was not ready. It made me cry because i love her so much and i wish she never went threw that pain. I called her up tonight and told her exactly what you told us to tell someone we loved.
Now she had never told me this before, but she had mentioned it to my other sister who told me. But tonight she opened up and told me everything she could. And i was so glad i could be there to listen. Your program helped me to cope a little better with the feelings i have bottled up inside of me from the assault that i went threw. It helped me realize that people really do care. And i hope that everyone that attended tonight’s program at Westfield state college realizes the importance of asking. Its simple, just ask. Thank you.”
— A college student at Westfield State College in MA
“When I was 12 my grandfather sexually assaulted me. I confessed a year later, received counseling for a week, told the police my story, but nothing was done. My family wouldn’t push charges, ignored the incident, put a smile on, and pretended it never happened. They did not want to scar our family’s name, especially someone as important to the community as my grandfather…a doctor. Every family gathering, I had to share meals, give him presents, hug and kiss my assaulter goodbye, acting as if nothing happened. I thought no one cared, until I was 17. My grandfather passed away and my older brother called me, the first thing he told me was “I remember, and I’ll always be here.” That was the first time anyone in my family ever acknowledged the situation in five years.
Earlier today while I was watching you up on stage you made me feel loved and cared for. I am not a family’s shameful secret; I am a person, a survivor. Thank you.”
— A college student in Wisconsin
“You just came to my school a few short hours ago and I absolutely loved your presentation. I was really touched by your helpful information and just want to thank you, as a ‘survivor.’ I really wanted to meet you and tell you in person, but the crowd was too pushy and I was too close to the door before I had breathing room. I got your books and a t-shirt though, my roommate bought them for me. Because of your wonderful seminar, I called my mom as soon as I got to my dorm and told her everything about my encounter.
If I hadn’t gone to your seminar, I know for a fact that I would never have told my mother, and I know now that I shouldn’t have waited so long. I just want to thank you once again. My life looks much more brighter without that constant nagging feeling of doubt whether I should tell someone or not.”
— A college student in Missouri
“I will never forget the impact you have made on my heart and those around me. I am a victim of rape, and I have been sharing my story for about six months. Now, I took the challenge of letting those around me know I am there for them if they ever need to talk. Doors are opening, and someone shared with me within less than a minute of the words coming out of my mouth. God is working through you in so many ways, and I just pray that hearts continue to be open and willing to listen to what you have to say.”
— A student from Hastings College
“I was in your audience tonight. I am a freshman. I was in the front row in a black sweater, nervously devouring my fingernails.
The attached letter (not included here to protect confidentiality) is my Victim/Witness Impact statement that I read on August 25th, less then 2 months ago, to my best friends father before he was incarcerated. I came forward what will be two years ago this February 13th, two days before my 20th birthday.
I have never felt anything close to what I felt as I walked out those doors tonight. And like every other high school/college student has, I have walked out the doors of quite a few of those programs. As you said you receive dozens of emails, many of which, I’m sure share similar stories. That fact has always left me feeling no need to send in one more sob story, but tonight I felt different. It might be the fact that this was the first program I have been to since I’ve come forward and claimed my title as a ‘survivor’ or, maybe it was because I had a total stranger tell me how proud he was of me. A man who had never met me, who had never heard my story or seen me try and cope. I’ve heard my family, my friends, the police, the court officials and all of the people who have supported me through out this whole ordeal tell me how proud they are of me how strong they think I am and so on and so forth till I was blue in the face. But after so many times you start to not process it, or, like in my case you continue to not.
All of those people had heard my story. You hadn’t, like I said before. You didn’t even know I was there. Tonight was the first night I really heard someone tell me I was brave. And it hurt. In that room tonight I became a fighter and a survivor. I realized that everything that happened to me should have never happened. I have repeated that phrase ceaselessly for the past year and a half without them ever meaning anything to me. Thank you for bringing meaning to them. I have sat in therapy for an hour and half twice a week for the past year and half and have not felt the way I did tonight. The program tonight did touch so much on the type of abuse that was down to me as a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 7th grader and everything in between. However did about what happened to me as a freshman in high school and most recently as a senior. The August before becoming a freshman, I began a “courtship” with what would be a junior. I was in love. I had an upper classman, and not just any upper classman, but the captain of the basketball and golf teams. We started dating in November and by March he was threatening to break up with me if I didn’t sleep with him. In April I explained to him why I wouldn’t sleep with him. He was the first person told, but he was the second to tell me it wasn’t a big deal. I laid in his arms and told him how since the beginning of second grade, when I moved to Martha’s Vineyard, Steven had been sexually abusing me. I explained to him how Steve would call me out of bed at night, with his very own daughter in the next bed. How he would call my parents to arrange play dates, play dates that were kept only by him and not his daughter. When I had finished telling this all to my John (name has been changed for confidentiality reasons) he kissed me on the forehead and told me he was sorry, but that if we had sex he would never hurt me like that. Needless to say I forgot the whole thing ever happened because it was after all obviously not a big deal. If it was such a bad thing Steve would have never done it, and if John really loved me, and he didn’t think it was a big deal, then it must not have been. We broke up a year later. . .
Steve pled guilty (and confessed to) to sixteen counts of indecent assault and battery (he confessed also to several other charges that had not been brought up by me, but had been against me) on a child under the age of 14, but pled not guilty to the twelve counts of statutory rape.
In the 19 months leading up to the trial I never felt as brave as I did tonight, sitting in your audience. I wish I had heard your program sooner. In all the other programs I had been to, none had asked the students to ‘open the door’ for someone else. Nor had the speaker experienced a first hand account of what rape can do to a person. When you asked us to close our eyes tonight, I saw Julie (name replaced for confidentiality). Julie is the daughter of Steve. What hurt me the most, before our friendship ended, was the day she told me she couldn’t remember her childhood. I was sad at first because that meant she couldn’t remember all the fun we had had and all the times we had made cookies with her now deceased mother. After I came forward I replayed the same conversation in my head and hurt all over again. When something traumatic happens, as I’m sure you know, you block it out. Sometimes, even a whole childhood. Julie has yet to come forward and we have not talked since her father was put away. Tonight however I opened the door for her. I created a MySpace account and wrote her a message telling her I loved her. I didn’t sign my name, but I did leave the link and phone number to a national help hotline.
I don’t know if she’ll come forward, or if for that matter anything ever happened to her, but I do know I opened the door, just like you had asked us to do.
It has taken me close to all night to write this letter, which I’m sure is filled with atrocious spelling and painfully obvious punctuations and grammar mistakes, but that is after all why I wrote it from my college dorm room.
I can’t explain to you what tonight meant to me. What happened to me was not necessarily what happened to me, but the way people can reach out and help is exactly the same. When you explained that it wasn’t funny, that a girl could rape a guy, and that survivors find nothing about rape amusing I looked around and realized I had been the only one in my row not laughing. Before tonight I probably would have laughed, but after you told me how proud you were of me and how strong you thought I was, I couldn’t. I thought about the little boy that could easily been in my place and I couldn’t laugh.
Thank you so much for what you gave to me tonight. I am a survivor of acts for worse then an unwanted kiss, but from tonight on I will never have to put up with another unwanted kiss or touch because I know I can say no. More importantly however is that I will be damned if see a person I love go threw the pain I did because of something I could have prevented. This revelation could very well have come at another time, but it came tonight and because of you.”
— A college student from NY
“Dear Mr. Mike Domitrz:
When you came to my campus, I spoke with you about me being a victim of sexual abuse when I was teenager. When I was in high school, I asked my girlfriend, at the time, if I could kiss her (we were dancing). She replied, ‘Yeah I guess, sure.’ I think I might have caught her off guard. Well, that was in 1999; now it is 2005, and I am a recently un-closeted, 23 year old male. I have never been asked, ‘Can I kiss you?” Guy’s mistakenly assume it is okay.
I wrote a speech for ‘Take Back The Night’ (this is my speech for tonight). Here it is:
‘Good Evening, My name is __________”. Last Semester, I spoke about being a victim of both physical abuse (at the ages of 6 to 12) as well as sexual abuse (at the age of 14). However, after attending the speech entitled: “Can I Kiss You?“, by Mr. Mike Domitrz, last Tuesday night, I have realized that I am not a victim of the abuses; but instead a SURVIVOR. Thank You, Mike.'”
— Damian (NY)
“I would like to thank you so much for your words and compassion. I have never considered myself a survivor or even a victim, but after last night I realize that I have been involved in nonconsensual physical contact and I have a renewed outlook on that experience after your presentation. Thank you for telling the stories, they are so important and I have an immense respect for you and the people you have worked with. A friend and I talked last night until 1:30 about your perspective and he was reduced to tears, we were both truly moved. Thanks again!”
— Student in TX
“You made something that kids normally don’t want to hear about and turned it into something people will be talking about for a very long time. Thank you again for what you are doing.”
— Student in WI
“Thank you so much for your talk. I am a survivor and it brought back a lot of the things and feelings that I went through. Everything you said was 100% accurate to what I went through and what my family went through. Ironically the kid that did this too me was in the room, and I can only hope that you touched him as much as you touched me. Thank you so much!”
— Student from PA
“Mike, I was just at your presentation and I found it to be very helpful. I am a freshmen and two weeks after coming up to school, I was sexually assaulted. I kept blaming myself for what happened — saying things like “if I hadn’t have had so much to drink, this wouldn’t have happened to me.” I am having a real hard time forgiving myself for letting this happen to myself. I was sitting in the second row tonight. Every word you said made me realize I should be thankful I am still here. That is a really scary time for someone to go though and no one really realizes it . . .You have inspired me to try to get past this and work hard to keep living my life. I thought this could never happen to me and it did. People don’t realize that this can happen to anyone at any time. Drunk, sober, at night or during the day. When you said the word survivor, that really hit home. Thanks for your advice and support.”
— Student from NC
“I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking out about rape survivors. I saw your program two or three years ago and I just saw it again recently. Between the two programs, I was raped by my best guy friend (at the time). And when you spoke of survivors, I felt as if you were speaking directly to me, and it gave me the hope and strength to talk to my friends about what happened to me. It’s comforting to know that other people share the idea that it’s not the victims fault, and that we weren’t asking for it. Just thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think if more people had the courage to speak about rape it would be easier for survivors to recover. I like the word survivor. I never really thought of it like that before. It was always victim to me. The word victim is weak, and survivor gives me hope that I will indeed over come.”
— Student from CT
“I wanted to let you know how much that presentation has changed my life. I am a survivor of almost three years now, and everything you said touched home for me. I wish I had seen you sooner because it is such a serious and real topic. What I really wanted to tell you is that I brought my boyfriend with me to your presentation and it has brought a change in him I can barely recognize. He is a man’s man and has a certain attitude when it comes to male and female roles. But after watching your presentation, he has a new mannerism, so to speak, with me. I knew that he loved me, but now he shows it by respecting me. He said to me, ‘You know babe, even though we’re together, I never want you to feel that you don’t have a choice because you do. Always.’ For him to say that to me meant more than anything in the world. I just wanted to say thank you and what you are doing is amazing.”
— Student in WI
“First of all.. I want to thank you. Your presentation was one of the best I’ve ever seen, if not THE best. It especially hit home for me because when I was 14 years old, I was beaten and raped by a 33 year old man. . . Tonight when you came to Oswego and gave your presentation, it was amazing to me. You don’t know how much I appreciate someone like you and how you presented yourself and how you affected everyone in that room. I could go on for longer but all I really wanted to say was thank you so much. I mean that with all my heart. Thank you again.” — Student in NY
ARE YOU A SURVIVOR who attended the “Can I Kiss You?” program?
If you are a survivor who attended the “Can I Kiss You?” program, share your comments in our online Forum for Sexual Assault Survivors by clicking here.
Below are some of the many University & College campuses to bring the “Can I Kiss You?” program and Mike Domitrz to their community:
|Adrian College||Ohio University|
|Arkansas Tech University||Old Dominion University|
|Ashland University||PACE University|
|Augsburg College||Pacific Lutheran University|
|Augustana College||Penn State University|
|Baldwin-Wallace College||Penn State University Harrisburg|
|Ball State University||Pennsylvania College of Technology|
|Barry University||Philadelphia University|
|Barton College||Pierce College Puyallup Campus|
|Bemidji State University||Point Loma Nazarene University|
|Bentley College||Point Park University|
|Berry College||Quinnipiac University|
|Big Bend Community College||Rensselear Polytechnic Institute|
|Bloomsburg University||Rhodes College|
|Boise State University||Ripon College|
|Boston College||Roanoke College|
|Bowling Green State University||Robert Morris University|
|Brandeis University||Rock Valley College|
|Bridgewater State College||Sacred Heart University|
|Bryant & Stratton College||Saginaw Valley State University|
|Bryant College||Saint Edwards University|
|Bucknell University||Saint Marys University of Minnesota|
|Buena Vista University||Salem State College|
|Cabrini College||Salisbury University|
|California State University – Long Branch||Salve Regina University|
|California State University – Sacramento||Sam Houston State University|
|California University of Pennsylvania||San Francisco State University|
|Calvin College||San Jose State University|
|Canisius College||Seattle University|
|Carleton College||Skidmore College|
|Case Western Reserve University||Slippery Rock University|
|Catholic University of America||Sonoma State University|
|Cazenovia College||Southeast Missouri State University|
|Central College||Southern Connecticut State University|
|Central College||Southern Methodist University|
|Central Connecticut State University||Southern Utah University|
|Central Michigan University||Southwest Minnesota State University|
|Chaminade University of Honolulu||Southwest Oregon Community College|
|Christopher Newport University||St. Cloud State University|
|Citadel, The||St. John’s University|
|Colby College||St. Joseph’s College|
|College of New Jersey||St. Lawrence University|
|College of Saint Benedict/St. John’s University||St. Mary’s University|
|College of Southern Idaho||St. Norbert College|
|College of St. Benedict||St. Thomas Aquinas|
|College of St. Scholastica||Stanford University|
|College of the Holy Cross||Stephen F Austin University|
|Collins County Community College||Stony Brook University|
|Collorado School of Mines||Suffolk Community College|
|Colorado Mountain College – Alpine Campus||SUNY – Albany|
|Colorado Mountain College – Leadville Campus||SUNY – Cortland|
|Colorado Mountain College – Spring Valley Campus||SUNY – Oneonta|
|Concordia College||SUNY – Oswego|
|Concordia Univerity||SUNY – Plattsburgh|
|Dalhouise University||Temple University|
|Dalhouise University||Texas A & M University|
|Daniel Webster College||Texas A & M University Corpus Christi|
|DePauw University||Texas State Technical College|
|Drexel University||Towson University|
|Eastern Illinois University||Treasure Valley Community College|
|Elon University||Trinity University|
|Emporia State University||UC – Merced|
|Fairleigh Dickinson University||UC – San Francisco|
|Florida Atlantic University||Union College|
|Florida Gulf Coast University||United States Air Force Academy|
|Florida State University||United States Naval Academy|
|Fox Valley Technical College||University of Alabama|
|Furman University||University of Alberta|
|Gallaudet University||University of Arkansas – Fort Smith|
|George Mason University||University of California – Irvine|
|Georgia College and State University||University of California – Riverside|
|Gettysburg College||University of California – Riverside|
|Goucher College||University of California, Irvine|
|Grand Valley State University||University of Central Missouri|
|Greensboro College||University of Cincinnati|
|Guilford College||University of Dayton|
|Gustavus Adolphus College||University of Delaware|
|Hamline University||University of Dubuque|
|Harford Community College||University of Evansville|
|Hastings College||University of Florida|
|Herkimer County Community College||University of Georgia|
|Hiram College||University of Guelph|
|Hofstra University||University of Indianapolis|
|Hood College||University of Iowa|
|Hope College||University of Kansas|
|Humber College||University of Miami|
|Hunter College of CUNY||University of Minnesota – Duluth|
|Illinois Wesleyan University||University of Minnesota – Mankato|
|Indian Hills Community College||University of Minnesota at Crookston|
|Iowa State University||University of Missouri Columbia|
|John Carroll University||University of New Haven|
|Kansas State University||University of North Carolina – Wilmington|
|Kean University||University of Oregon|
|Keene State College||University of San Diego|
|Kent State University||University of Scranton|
|Keuka College||University of Sioux Falls|
|Kutztown University of Pennsylvania||University of South Carolina|
|Lafayette College||University of South Carolina – Columbia|
|Lake Forest College||University of Southern Indiana|
|Lawrence University||University of Southern Indiana|
|Lee McRae University||University of St. Mary|
|LeHigh University||University of St. Thomas|
|LeMoyne College||University of Tampa|
|Linfield College||University of Texas at Dallas|
|Louisiana State University||University of Texas at San Antonio|
|Louisiana State University – Baton Rouge||University of Texas at San Antonio|
|Loyola College in Maryland||University of Texas at Tyler|
|Loyola Marymount University||University of West Florida|
|Loyola University of Chicago||University of Western Ontario|
|Loyola University of Chicago||University of Wisconsin – Madison|
|Luther College||University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee|
|Lynchburg College||University of Wisconsin – Platteville|
|Manhattanville College||University of Wisconsin – River Falls|
|Marian College||University of Wisconsin – Superior|
|Marist College||University of Wisconsin – Whitewater|
|Marquette University||University of Wisconsin Madison|
|Marywood University||University of Wisconsin Superior|
|Mayville State University||Valdosta State University|
|McDaniel College||Valencia Community College|
|McMaster University||Vassar College|
|Millersville University||Villanova University|
|Minnesota State University – Mankato||Viterbo University|
|Mississippi University for Women||Wake Forest University|
|Missouri Southern State University||Waldorf College|
|Molloy College||Washington & Lee University|
|Monmouth University||Washington College|
|Montana State University – Billings||Washington State University|
|Moravian College||Wentworth Institute of Technology|
|Muskingum College||West Chester University|
|Neumann College||West Virginia University|
|New College of Florida||Western Carolina State University|
|New Mexico State University||Western Connecticut State University|
|Nichols College||Western New England College|
|North Carolina A & T State University||Westfield State College|
|North Dakota State College of Science||Whitman College|
|North Dakota State University||Willamette University|
|North Georgia College and State University||Wingate University|
|Northern Illinois University||Worcester Polytechnic Institute|
|Northern Michigan University||Wright State University|
|Northern State University||Xavier University|
|Northwest Missouri State University||York University|
Call 800-329-9390 Today & Discover the Difference!
SPECIAL OFFER: By calling 800-329-9390 today, you will receive a complimentary copy of the critically-acclaimed book “May I Kiss You?” by Mike Domitrz. Schools throughout the country use this book as curriculum in the classroom and for creating positive change with their students.