82: Why nonprofits and leaders of all kinds of organizations can struggle with treating themselves and others with disrespect with author and speaker, Marc Pitman.

 

Discover specific steps leaders and specifically nonprofits can take to lead with more respect, especially starting with themselves. Today’s guest is Marc Pitman and host Mike Domitrz will dive into this conversation on leadership and respect.

   

** You are invited to join our community and conversations about each episode on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/respectpodcastgroup and join us on Twitter @PodcastRespect or visit our website at www.RespectPodcast.com **

 

Marc’s BIO:

Concord Leadership Group founder Marc A. Pitman helps leaders, especially in nonprofits, lead their teams with more effectiveness and less stress. He’s the author of Ask Without Fear!® – which has been translated into Dutch, Polish, Spanish, and Mandarin. He’s also the executive director of TheNonprofitAcademy.com and an Advisory Panel member of Rogare, a prestigious international fundraising think tank.

Marc’s expertise and enthusiasm engages audiences around the world and has caught the attention of media organizations as diverse as The Chronicle of Philanthropy, Al Jazeera, SUCCESS Magazine, and Fox News.

Marc tweets regularly at @marcapitman.
He is the husband to his best friend and the father of three amazing kids. And if you drive by him on the road, he’ll be singing 80’s tunes loud enough to embarrass his family!

 

Links to Marc:

 

Books Marc Recommends:

  • 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey
  • The Road Back to You, Ian Cron & Susan Stabile
  • The Path Between Us, Susan Stabile
  • The 9 Types of Leadership, Beatrice Chestnut
  • Falling Upward, Richard Rohr
 

YOUR HOST: Mike Domitrz is the founder of The Center for Respect where he helps educational institutions, the US Military and businesses of all sizes create a culture of respect throughout their organizations. From addressing consent to helping corporations build a workplace free from fear (reducing sexual harassment and helping employees thrive by treating them with respect every day), Domitrz engages audiences by sharing skill sets they can implement into their lives immediately. As an author, trainer, keynote speaker and coach, Mike Domitrz loves working with leaders at all levels. Learn more at http://www.CenterForRespect.com

 

READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPTION of the EPISODE HERE:

Mike Domitrz:
Welcome to The Respect Podcast. I’m your host, Mike Domitrz, from mikespeaks.com, where we help organizations of all sizes, educational institutions, and the U.S. military create a culture of respect. And respect is exactly what we discuss on this show, so let’s get started.

Mike Domitrz:
This week, I’m so excited to introduce you to Marc A. Pitman, executive coach and CEO of the Concord Leadership Group. He is the author of eight books, including Ask Without Fear, runs fundraisingcoach.com, directs The Nonprofit Academy, a training resource for nonprofit leaders and board members.

Mike Domitrz:
Marc, thank you so much for joining us.

Marc Pitman:
It’s my pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me.

Mike Domitrz:
Absolutely. We’re going to dive right into this. You’ve coached leaders around the world. Is there a common aspect of respect that you see, or a lack of respect?

Marc Pitman:
It may be counterintuitive for people, but I think when it comes to respect and leadership, it’s usually themselves that they don’t respect the most. I think most leaders think that they should just get it and things should just work for them because they learned a skill as an employee and they learned proficiency at that, but they forget that when they went into management, they had to learn how to deal with people because the skill proficiency wasn’t enough. You have to learn how to deal with people.

Marc Pitman:
And I don’t think our culture often helps people make the bridge from management to leadership either. We get proficient managers, and we promote them into leadership and expect them to figure it out as they go. I see a lot of unhealthy habits and a lot of berating themselves, because they feel like the weight of the entire organization does rest on their shoulders, so they just keep doing things that do not help sustain themselves.

Marc Pitman:
One of the examples… In my leadership intensives, I have people write out a list of 100 different goals and dreams and fantasies and stuff that they wished that could happen, and I liked doing 100. I call it a magnet goals process. I like doing 100 because it forces people to get out of their logical mind and into a creative space. Usually the first 10 come easily, they’re usually work related. But what I hear from participants regularly is that they’re shocked to see two things.

Marc Pitman:
One, how many personal things come on this list and how energizing that is. It as though they forget that their whole life is… They are their whole human being and they think of just themselves in terms of work and when they start bringing in some of their own interests and goals, then they find that there’s a whole new renewed energy about their leadership and they become more interesting to the people that they lead too.

Mike Domitrz:
So what would be an example of something they might put on there that helps them with that awakening? What’s answers you’ve seen?

Marc Pitman:
So there’s one person I was coaching who majored a fundraiser for a university that happened to work with people that were in the arts and particularly theater. Her interest was theater and arts and she never realized that to Matt, she wanted to get more into the art scene and the acting scene in that particular area where the university was.

Marc Pitman:
She had never given herself permission to prioritize her major gift prospects that were also in the acting scene. So she had this list of portfolio, for people that don’t know, for a nonprofit, fundraisers is often 100 to 125 relationships that your person’s managing, so they’re all qualified prospects and there was no reason why she couldn’t front the people are or prioritize the people that had interests that could help her in her own aspects of life as she was still having the integrity of making the major gift asks and doing all the things that were for her job.

Mike Domitrz:
Was there a concern of conflict of interest, like if I ask these people who are donating money to connect with them into the theater and the arts separately, that that can be a conflict? Was that the fear?

Marc Pitman:
It may have been the fear. What I coached her to do is to just be curious. Ask them, “What’s the scene like here? How did you get into this? What are the biggest mistakes you see people making?” Using it as research for her own interactions because she’s naturally curious and when you’re naturally curious in somebody else’s story, you become much more interesting to them. When you’re just do going through the motions and you have no idea about something, it can be a little bit harder. So people would be much more eager to meet with her or at least she’d be a live conversation when she was having… Because usually you have conversation with people before you just come right out and ask them. You get to know them a little bit.

Marc Pitman:
I don’t know if she thought it was a conflict of interest, but as long as she kept it in terms of gathering information, that could definitely work. And then if it became a relationship, there’s any number of things when they find out, “Oh you graduated from here? Are you still doing acting?” Those sort of questions could have allowed it to go in the direction that would help her that way.

Mike Domitrz:
And you specifically said that a lot of organizations are weak at developing their leaders and therefore the leaders don’t have training education on leading with respect. Why do you think that is?

Marc Pitman:
It’s crazy isn’t it?

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah.

Marc Pitman:
Because the leadership skills industry is huge. there are books and degrees and seminars and podcasts. I don’t really know. I was just talking to a business friend of mine that it seems like we all… Computers can get an update and upgrade and from then on that operating system doesn’t need to deal with this stuff that it had before, the issues that it had before, but human beings don’t seem to have that sort of matrix like download of information or upgrade. It seems like we all have to go on the same path, on the same journey and I think it blindsides each of us that it’s that we still need to have those learning experiences and I think organizations also, I think it’s probably like buying software. When you buy software at CRM or something like that, you think you’ve made your decision, but you’re really only 30% through the process because you actually have to implement the use of the software and then get used to using it.

Marc Pitman:
So it’s also similar with leaders. Once you promote a leader or hire a leader, it’s not just set it and forget it. They’re still going to have to be some sort of growth and grooming going, no matter how good the leader is. They’re going to have to get you understand the organization. They’re going to have to understand the goals. There’s a lot that I think people just figure, well they seem to have it all together.

Mike Domitrz:
What would be a clue to somebody that they’re lacking respect for themselves as a leader? Because you know, leaders will listen to this and go, “I don’t. What? I run this organization. I’ve gotten all the way around. I don’t lack respect for myself.” So what are clues that you might, that you’re not aware of?

Marc Pitman:
Well, here’s one. And I do work with nonprofit and for-profit leaders. This happened to be a bunch of executive directors who are three to five years in their position of organizations, so non-profit CEOs. We were at end of our breakout at a local conference. And I turned to them and I thought I was giving them a softball question. I said, “So how did you learn to deal with the sleepless nights?” And there was this awkward pause in the room and they all said, “Oh, I haven’t learned to deal with those. I still get them.” So one sign could be if you’re not able to sleep through the night because the pressure on leaders is a tremendous.

Marc Pitman:
There was a recent study done by the center for creative leadership that there’s pressures from all sides, bosses, customers, peers. Leaders are literally getting drawn and quartered. So one thing could be that you’re not sleeping well at night, could be a very real, physical reality. It could also be diet and exercise I understand that.

Marc Pitman:
Another one that is interesting and I’m not sure how to implement it here in the United States, but in Scandinavian countries and European countries like Denmark and the Netherlands, if you’re spending a lot of time at work, that means you’re a poor time manager. If you’re not able to get the work done in the time allotted, then you’ve got issues with yourself. And there’s something along with that. In America, we have a different expectation of leaders that they’re in before everybody else and they leave after everybody else. So I’m not sure how to…That has to be tailored per culture, but there has to be areas where you’re learning to reward yourself. And one of the things that I ask leaders a lot is how do you celebrate success?

Marc Pitman:
And most of the time, none of us can answer. “I don’t know how to celebrate success. I just move on to the next thing cause there’s always something else to do.” But oftentimes there are people who have usually a food-related thing. So there was one guy that would get, before he could afford it, he would get a latte, a vanilla latte from Starbucks after he made a sales call. Every time he had a sales call with a very clear call to action, that was the activity he wanted to reinforce it himself so he’d buy himself a more expensive drink than he could normally afford.

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah, I could hear…We’ve had people on the show on financial advice be like, “No, don’t reward by spending.”

Marc Pitman:
Yeah I know, right.

Mike Domitrz:
Right, exactly. But you know what? It is an important discussion about rewarding the small daily successes. And it doesn’t even have to be financial, right? Just I give myself five minutes to listen to music that I wasn’t going to listen to you. I mean, something that says, “This is my moment of celebration.” We have a word we use in our office and every so many years we change it so there’s more variety but if something good happens, it’s woot, woot. “Sir, I already [inaudible 00:09:12] woot, woot.” But at one time it was hooray and another time… But it allows you to celebrate the small successes.

Marc Pitman:
Oh, that’s great. Well, we had whoop whoop. When I pastored a church, it was whoop whoop because there was a wine out of Australia [inaudible 00:09:24] that was whoop, whoop. And so our leadership team started to like “Whoop, whoop.” And then we started imitating the corkscrew with the arms going up and down when we were taking off the cork.

Mike Domitrz:
I love it.

Marc Pitman:
There’s another person, one place I was in whenever they had a win, it was goofy as all get up, they had a rally monkey, they called it. They had a little stuffed monkey that the person where the win would run around and usually it was the executive director because other people weren’t…The leader has to set the tone for this is acceptable behavior. But sometimes there’s, yeah, bells are ringing. I love that you guys have words that’s really smart.

Marc Pitman:
It’s hard, I think we feel like it’s foolish, but I think it’s one of those things that really feeds our spirit when we have some way of acknowledging, “Hey, we did the right thing.” And a lot of times it has to be personal. So this is where I love… I’m a student of Stephen Covey’s and Seven Habits of Highly Successful People and all the other books that came from that. I really think that, no matter whether you have the leadership title or not, I think we all are leaders. I think we all have influence in spaces and I think building that trust with yourself is where you can build your circle of influence. You expand your circle of influence because you’re keeping the, I think it’s life at the speed of trust or leadership at the speed of trust.

Marc Pitman:
Stephen Covey’s son, Stephen Covey talks about how building trust starts with keeping commitments to yourself and celebrating and honoring those. I know earlier this year there was a video game. My kids decided to stop playing with their console so I put it in the office and I would give myself, at certain times if I had done something, 15 minutes to play, which was really cool because I don’t allow myself to play video games for decades now because it doesn’t seem productive, which I always used to love.

Marc Pitman:
I happen to live in the Southeast now and so I like to go out and have lunch outside for 10 minutes. I don’t normally allow myself to get away from my desk for lunch, which is silly because I’m self-employed, but my boss can be a real jerk at times. So getting outside of the office and just sitting and reading something on my Kindle, even if it’s not work-related. It’s amazing how that just recharges my batteries.

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah. For me, I live near water and so for me it’s a step outside and to just sit and take the view in. You know that type of a… It’s big. Now a key to respect is understanding others. That’s a huge key. In your years of coaching and training, are there any tools that particularly help you with this that you share with people for helping understand others?

Marc Pitman:
Oh, there’s one. Okay. So for years I’ve taught the DISC four quadrants, ancient Greek, the caloric melancholy phlegmatic sort of framework or matrix. Love that. It was frustrating to me as a speaker that that was the part that people get the most out of my talks. I would create content about all sorts of things, but it was DISC, this 2000 plus year old thing, that people really got. That’s been really helpful. I also like the Highlands abilities battery, I’ve been using that for years, which is a battery of tests that measures how you actually perform under a time pressure. You have five minutes to do something and does it come naturally to you or not? Are you able to perform it or not? So it’s not the mind game of “I think I’d rather respond this way or I think I’d respond that way.” Its actual performance on tests.

Marc Pitman:
But the one that is exciting me in the past year is the Enneagram. It’s a tool I’ve been using for about 30 years in my own personal growth, but only in the last year or so have I started using it with coaching clients and trainings. There’s a woman named Beatrice Chestnut who wrote a book called The Nine Types of Leaders and that just broke down for me how this very interesting typology methodology is able to be used by leaders too. So the Highland’s ability to [inaudible 00:13:12] talks about what you can do well. It’s your hardwired abilities. The next one, the DISC one, is your observable behaviors, so you can look at other people too and observe them. What I love about the Enneagram is that we think it’s an ancient topology that gives nine different ways of looking at the world. So nine different narratives people live within and it talks about their motivations.

Marc Pitman:
So you can see two very hard driven people that are goal setters and go getters, but they may be operating from very different stories. And so it breaks down into nine different stories where people are coming from. And that can help you as a leader really learn to respect somebody else’s story because somebody may be trying to look successful. So when you’re criticizing them, it may be very important for you to say, “This is really good,” to do that compliment sandwich. Say something nice, give them the criticism, say something nice again, but there’s another type of person, an eight that wouldn’t need that at all. They just want to know, am I doing well or not? And you know my way so I can do better.

Mike Domitrz:
What’s interesting about Enneagram is that it tells you who your strength is and who your challenge might be.

Marc Pitman:
True.

Mike Domitrz:
It tells you what number is probably not going to work well with you and it doesn’t mean you’re not going to ever work with them, but you need to be very aware of when you are working with them, here’s where you two might struggle with each other and then whose ideal? Who aligns with you really well, who’s not your number? Cause your number might not be the right alignment at all to be with because you’re too alike but that’s the beautiful thing about it that I love.

Marc Pitman:
I love the dynamism in it too, you can respect yourself. Myself as a seven, I know that when I start getting black and white, it’s either this or that, I’m shifting into the negative energy of the number called wine, which is very black and white. So there’s a pathway for stress that I can be a warning sign to myself of, “Oh I must be stressed, I’m moving in this space.” And there’s also a sign for growth where you’re moving towards a five which is much more objective and just deep dives into things. So I love the dynamism and that for my own, that’s where I’d used it for so many years of just my own personal ability to learn and grow.

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah, I love it. And Mark, you have found that in the latest study, four out of five leaders of nonprofits struggle with competence. One in 10 don’t believe they have the abilities to lead the organization. Do you think that is unique to nonprofits or do you think those numbers would be the same in what people would call corporate America and either way, why? Why is this, do you feel?

Marc Pitman:
I haven’t done the study. I haven’t seen the research. I have my master’s in organizational leadership, but I haven’t seen the research in the for profit world. I’m not sure why it is in nonprofits other than the fact that people, well, nonprofits in particular, I know that in a business, you’re the boss, and you have a staff and you service clients and as you service clients, they resource your organization. They provide the income that then makes the whole thing flow.

Marc Pitman:
And a nonprofit is not that way at all. It’s, you’re the executive director, but you’re not the boss. You have this board of directors and sometimes they individually think that they’re the boss as individuals, where they’re never that. It’s only when they’re together meeting as the board that they’re their boss. But then you’ve also got your staff, who think you know what you’re doing, and then you’ve got the clients that you’re serving for your mission but the clients are the ones that don’t resource anything because it’s a nonprofit. So you have these fourth group, the donors, and your nonprofit leaders are kind of drawn and quartered. And that’s why I think it really hits the confidence levers for people. For sure.

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah and I think there’s also this element of, to be the executive editor of a nonprofit, some people in our world, if you were the same role, the president of a major corporation, you’d be given more respect than the person of the nonprofit. The nonprofit sort of gets, “Isn’t that nice?” Versus, “Wow, look at what they’ve built.” In corporate. Nonprofit, “Well, isn’t that nice.”

Marc Pitman:
And that’s why when I go around talking, I call executive directors of nonprofit CEOs because people have a respect level for CEO that the executive director, they don’t really know what that means. I think the other thing with a lot of organizations for profit and not for profit is if they’re given a list of objectives to do by a board, let’s say, they often take those as their own personal lists to do for the year and then they try to be good servant leaders and turn to their staff and say, “What do you need? What kind of help do you need for the coming year?” Instead of taking that list from the board and saying, “These are the organization’s objectives.”

Marc Pitman:
Because when they take it as their own objectives there, they have their list of things that they’re going to be graded on at the end of the year, but they also are trying to serve their staff, which is a false dichotomy and they feel torn. When they’re with their staff, they know that there’s this stuff that’s not getting done for the objectives that they’re going to get assessed on and when they’re working on the stuff that they’re going to get assessed on their staff often wonders where are they?

Marc Pitman:
And I think that also does a lot to erode at confidence of the leader because when the leader can say. “These are the organizational objectives, where do you see yourself helping with this?” You’ll find things like the CFO saying, “I can help with sales. There’s this aspect of sales. I’m not going to do sales. My job is CFO but I could be really helpful for the sales team because I have a number story that I can tell.” And then you’ll see some cross disciplinary approaches to things that you just wouldn’t expect if you’re holding onto that list yourself.

Mike Domitrz:
All right, so let’s dive into that because that self doubt is a real issue and we’re all about respect here. So how you believe people can use self-doubt as a catalyst to growth. So what do you mean by that and how does someone do it?

Marc Pitman:
Well, if you could picture a four quadrant thing, confidence is the vertical axis, so high confident at the top, unsure at the bottom, and then there’s the external cues on the left and the internal cues on the right. Most people in the leadership start out in the quadrant of high confidence looking at external people. So they see other people leading and they are excited because they’ve seen other people lead and they know they can lead and then it doesn’t work out that way for them. People don’t always follow. Things don’t always work out right, so they start waning in confidence and they move down to what I call quadrant two which is they’re still looking at externally, but they start consuming books and they’re starting to consume podcasts and go to seminars and trainings and all.

Marc Pitman:
Most people in organizations get stuck there. “The book says this is going to change my life. I do it and it doesn’t change my life. There must be something fundamentally flawed with me or something fundamentally flawed with my organization.” I like working with leaders that I think that can be actually when you feel like there must be something fundamentally wrong with you, that you could be on the verge of greatness. And that’s where you move over to what I call quadrant three where you’re still unsure of yourself. It’s the lower right hand quadrant. You’re unsure of yourself, but you start looking to internally like, “Why doesn’t that resonate with me? Why doesn’t that seem to fit our culture and what parts can I?” I had a mentor say early on in my life say, “Eat the chicken, spit out the bones.” And then look you’re getting, there’s chicken and there’s bones.

Marc Pitman:
So, for my example as Getting Things Done, when I read Getting Things Done, I thought this was going to be bring order and stability to my life. I thought it was so great because you write lists and you make lists of lists and you have finals of lists and everything. It didn’t work for me, but when I finally got over the fact of maybe I’m just totally messed up because it didn’t work for me, I started realizing one thing that really did work for me from that book was writing lists and then putting the next action. What’s the next action to get this list done? When I had that, that became part of how I was able to tailor my own leadership suit as opposed to trying to fit in to David Allen’s style.

Marc Pitman:
I could be myself and grow into myself and I think that’s the invitation. When you’re really lacking confidence in yourself, there’s an invitation to grow into the fullness of what you can be uniquely and what your voice can offer to the world and to the organization instead of trying to copy others.

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah. Let’s go to an example of that because you have a personal example of where the opposite happened, where you thought somebody was a certain profile and they weren’t and it was in your own home. And our show is always exploring work, love and life. And so let’s go into the personal side of where this can show up in someone’s life. Can you share with us that story?

Marc Pitman:
Sure thing. Yeah. I have three wonderful kids and a really cool wife and we look at these things all the time. And so, one of the models that I like is DISK and when I ask one of my kids, I’d asked them… And I’ve gotten permission to share this story. I’d ask them a question and she’d come back with more questions. She’d asked me a question, I’d give her answer, she’d come back with more questions. So I thought that was high D, high extrovert, high task centered. So I would try to push back with her and try to talk that dialect of pushing back and being driven and a little dominating. And my wife was able to say to me, “You’re crushing her spirit.” And when we finally did disc with her, we found out that she was actually a high C, very task oriented, but introverted and high I, very extroverted and people centered. She was both. So she had all the superpower questioning of the C’s, C’s come up with questions all the time, and all of the verbal processing of an I.

Marc Pitman:
I’s don’t really know how to think without talking first. Once they’ve said everything to verbally process, then they can make up a decision because they know what they’re thinking. So she had that same both and going on where she had all the questions but she needed to verbalize them and so it was much easier for me to be able to, not easier, but I felt like a light had broken over my marble head where I was able to finally see exactly what my wife was saying, that I was crushing her by trying to be this high D. And when we went through the assessment together… The extended DISC is what I’m certified in, and they have you go through, think of somebody in your life, are they high people are high task, are they high active or reserved? And the person she thought of was someone who has a high D and I was explaining how high D’s work and they don’t really care how you feel so much. They want to know what the task is. And as we were going through it, she looked at me, she said, “Dad, that’s you. When I come into your office and I say, “Hey, how are you? What are you doing?” And you just want me to cut to the chase because you know I want to get a ride somewhere.”

Marc Pitman:
And so now she’ll come into my office and say, “Hey, how are you? Oh you don’t care. Okay, I’d like to go get something at the store. Do you have time at three this afternoon to take me or not?” So it’s been very helpful for us as a touch point in our family, which helps us respect each other more for sure. And gives us a few good laughs along the way too.

Mike Domitrz:
Sure. Well, and I mean that’s neat that your kids have grown up being used to that, right? So if you suddenly do that a certain place in life as a [inaudible 00:24:06], they could push back like, “Hey, I’m not taking some test. What are you talking about? You’re going to analyze me.” But you’ve created an atmosphere that says this is the norm.

Marc Pitman:
Oh, that’s interesting. Yeah. Thank you for that reflection. I grew up in a family where I had homework for school and I had homework because I was a Pitman, so I do all my school work, all the three hours or whatever but then I listened to Zig Ziglar and take notes on Dale Carnegie and other books because that was part of my job as being a Pitman. So I grew up in that kind of environment and I hadn’t even thought about the fact that something of that container is being passed on, so thanks Mike.

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah, because very few people have that. That’s really cool, so I appreciate you sharing it. Look, Mark, this has been amazing. I want people to be able to find you and there are a couple ways concordleadershipgroup.com is one. Another one is fundraisingcoach.com, thenonprofitacademy.com. We’re going to have all of these on the show notes. Thank you so much, Mark. This has been awesome.

Marc Pitman:
Thanks. It’s been a blast. The time flew by.

Mike Domitrz:
I love that and for our listeners, you know what’s coming up next. That is question of the week. Before I answer this week’s question of the week, I’d love to ask you a question, would you please subscribe to this podcast, the respect podcast with Mike Domitrz? By subscribing, you can make a huge impact. Now you might be wondering, “Mike, how does my subscribing to your podcast make a huge impact?” Well, here’s how.

Mike Domitrz:
For every person that subscribes, it raises the rankings of the show in the search engines. So for people who care about respect, like yourself, when they’re doing a search for podcast, they’re more likely to find this show, thus providing an awesome opportunity for us to spread more respect around this world, and all you do is hit subscribe under your podcast. Plus, the second benefit is by subscribing, you automatically get every episode right into your phone or whatever device you’re listening to the podcast on. It happens automatically, so subscribing also makes your life easier.

Mike Domitrz:
Now let’s get into this week’s question of the week. Oh, and by the way, you can always ask your questions of the week by joining us on Facebook and our discussion group. It’s called the respect podcast discussion group. Go there on Facebook and ask whatever questions you would like me to answer and/or address in this segment of the show, and then listen to each episode to find out when your question is included. Today’s question of the week is, “Mike, how do I respect other human beings? What’s an actual lesson plan for respecting other human beings?” And when you ask people around the world, what does it mean to be respected, they tell you it means to be seen, to be valued, to be appreciated. And there you go. See people don’t write the script as my friend Jessica Pettitt says, don’t write the script about someone and have a preconceived notion and allow no room for change in that script.

Mike Domitrz:
Allow them to show themselves to you and for you to value them for who they are, not for who you want them to become, not for the better version of themselves. See them for who they are in that moment and really get to learn and discover and appreciate them. That is what it feels like to be respected, to be seen, valued and appreciated.

Mike Domitrz:
Do you know what I would love? I would love to hear your answer to this week’s question of the week. So would you please answer what your answer would have been if you were asked that question today on the show. All you do is go to our Facebook page. We have a special group where we have these discussions called the respect podcast discussion group. So the respect podcast discussion group and share with us what would your answer have been to this week’s question of the week and take a moment, post us a new question for future episodes. What question would you like to hear me answer on an upcoming episode? That’s all done on Facebook in our special group, which is the respect podcast discussion group. Can’t wait to see you there.

Mike Domitrz:
Thank you for joining us in this episode of the respect podcast, exploring work love and life. And this episode, like every episode, is brought to you by our organization, the center for respect, which you can find at, centerforrespect.com and of course you can find me your host, Mike Domitrz at mikespeaks.com. Thank you so much for joining us.

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