The part of the holidays few talk about and can be the toughest.

The loneliness AFTER a holiday. The Ups naturally bring Downs – as the brain – both emotionally and spiritually – seeks balance.

Sadly we as a society rarely discuss the “down” after a holiday such as Christmas. Today it hit me. Not yesterday. Yesterday I kept busy. Cleaned up (post Christmas Day); went for a 23 mile bike ride outside in WI on Dec 26th – we had a record warm day; and then watched some shows with Karen and one of our sons.

Today, the down hit. Just felt out of sync. It took me until late in the day to recognize what was happening. When I did become aware, I realized my system was adjusting to the high I had been on for the 3 prior days.

Why the 3 prior days? We had our entire family home for 3 days – including our grandson. That alone only happens maybe once or twice a year. I was cherishing every moment. Plus, our grandson was having his first Christmas and it was a rare opportunity to be with him for 3 straight days (they live 13 hours away). 

What helped me today was the following:

1) Recognize the feelings and understand those feelings are normal and natural. You are missing loved ones. 

2) If your braining is telling you, “I know better. I shouldn’t be having these feelings”, stop and say to yourself, “Hogwash. Thoughts and feelings of missing people are normal. I know they are my natural thoughts and feelings because I care about those in my life. At the same time, the feeling of ‘missing’ does not define me nor my day.”

3) BE GRATEFUL. You are typically missing LOVE – the people and/or places you love are what you miss the most. If relatives or friends have now left after Christmas, take a moment to sit in gratitude that each of them are in your life. Let yourself smile in that place of gratitude.

For those family and friends who have lost loved ones, know I think of you and send you my love and support. May we each remember those no longer here on planet Earth by being grateful for each moment and memory we have of them. 

I am grateful for each of you.


Mike Domitrz is the founder of The Center for Respect where he helps educational institutions, the US Military and businesses of all sizes create a culture of respect throughout their organizations. From addressing consent to helping corporations build a workplace free from fear (reducing sexual harassment and helping employees thrive by treating them with respect every day), Domitrz engages audiences by sharing skill sets they can implement into their lives immediately. As an author, trainer, keynote speaker and coach, Mike Domitrz loves working with leaders at all levels. 


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