My Godson, David, texted me last night saying, “The family and I are watching ‘The Bachelorette’ and we were thinking you should do a blog about how they never ask for a kiss on the show and the poor example it sets.”
David is correct that showing more realistic “Asking First” scenes on TV and in the movies would help people see the passion in “Asking First” – while discovering the proper way to respect both you and your partner.
Others are going to say, “You are watching ‘Reality TV’ and ‘Asking First’ is not the norm. Thus, ‘Asking First” should be not put in ‘Reality TV.’”
Have often have you watched “Reality TV” and thought, “Wow, that is exactly what my reality is like“? The reality is almost no one has cameras following them around and recording their every action (while getting paid to have their lives recorded). Most 20 year olds cannot live the way the “Jersey Shore” crew lives (nor would want to). At least in those cases, they are following their supposedly “normal” day.
Shows like “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” create their own world for the sole purpose of the TV show. In such cases, the concept of “Reality TV” is already an oxymoron. Thus, why not encourage participants to ‘Ask First’ and display respect for their partners? Help create a “Reality” that is healthier and romantic at the same time. Imagine the conversations on FaceBook following such a moment on TV.
- “Did you see him ask her for a kiss?”
- “Did you see how well she handled getting a ‘No’ when he rejected her?”
- “Did you see how he looked into her eyes as he asked her. Oh my gosh!”
Help get the message to the ‘Reality TV’ world by emailing the TV networks sharing how you would LOVE to see positive, healthy examples of sexual intimacy on their shows. Inform them how ‘Asking First’ would lead to great PR for the show and teach a positive message. The show has the opportunity to create a POSITIVE REALITY for the millions who watch.
If you question this approach, ask people who saw the movie “The Notebook” what was their favorite scene. The far majority will tell you, “When the 2 of them were all alone in the abandoned house and about to have intimacy for the very first time. The Ryan Gosling’s character in the movie stopped and asked first.” People who saw the movie years ago still remember that scene!
P.S. For those who think no one is asking, you might be surprised how many people are beginning to learn the passion and romance of asking first. When we ask audiences, “Would you please stand up if you have been asked or have asked a partner for intimacy?” well over half the audience stands up. The reason everyone is shocked is because people assume “asking is not the norm” and thus no one openly discusses the reality of asking first!