59: Thom Singer on Elevating Employee Engagement

 

Thom Singer is an expert in working with people to get them more engaged and working toward better performance. He is the author of 12 books and is the host of the “Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do” podcast. 

 



 

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THOM’S BIO:

After a successful career in sales and marketing, Thom Singer became a growth leadership speaker in 2009. A decade later he has brought his high energy presentations and action-oriented content to over 700 audiences. Thom knows that as the speaker or master of ceremonies he has a responsibility to set the tone for a strong conference attendee experience. Known as “The Conference Catalyst” he creates an atmosphere of fun and interaction that lasts beyond his presentation.

Thom earned his Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) in 2014 and is committed to the business of meetings. He is the author of 12 books and is the host of the popular “Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do” podcast. On his show he has interviewed over 350 entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, business leaders and others with a focus on discovering how the most successful people get farther across the gap between potential and results.

 

LINKS TO THOM:

 

BOOKS THOM RECOMMENDS:

 

YOUR HOST: Mike Domitrz is the founder of The Center for Respect where he helps educational institutions, the US Military and businesses of all sizes create a culture of respect throughout their organizations. From addressing consent to helping corporations build a workplace free from fear (reducing sexual harassment and helping employees thrive by treating them with respect every day), Domitrz engages audiences by sharing skill sets they can implement into their lives immediately. As an author, trainer, keynote speaker and coach, Mike Domitrz loves working with leaders at all levels. Learn more at http://www.CenterForRespect.com

 

READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPTION of the EPISODE HERE:

 

Mike Domitrz:                   Welcome
to the Respect podcast. I’m your host Mike Domitrz from Mikespeaks.com, where
we help organizations of all sizes, educational institutions, and the U.S.
military create a culture of respect. Respect is exactly what we discuss on
this show, so let’s get started.

Mike Domitrz:                   We’re
going to dive right into it. This week we have Thom Singer. I’ve known Tom for
a long time, but for those of you who have never met Tom, he is an expert in
working with people to get them more engaged and working towards better
performance. He’s the author of 12 books and is the host of Cool Things
Entrepreneurs Do Podcast. Very cool podcast for anybody out there. If you’re a
podcast listener, check it out, Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do. Thank you so much
Tom for joining me.

Thom Singer:                     Hey
Mike. Thank you so much for having me.

Mike Domitrz:                   Absolutely.
We’ve known each other for a while and you’re known for somebody who does
engagement, if you’re somebody out in the corporate world. Tom in addition to
all that, often is an emcee because he’s so good at bringing people together
and bringing everything together throughout an event, which is really powerful.
So you help groups with what we just talked about, bringing things together. I
thought we’d dive right into talking about that gap that can happen between
potential and results. How does that occur? What are things people can do?

Thom Singer:                     Yeah,
I mean it’s a real serious thing. For most of my career as a speaker and an
emcee, I spoke about how do you get people more engaged with their network.
When the economy boomed, all of a sudden nobody cared about the topic of
engagement quite as much because it was like oh our people don’t need that, if
they get laid off, they’ll find a job in an hour. The comment that kept coming
up of what people needed was about this gap between potential and performance.
I’ve now interviewed over 500 people about what holds them back, and I’ve
interviewed about the same number of people who claim to be totally succeeding.
I ask them what are you doing different than what other people are doing. The
answers that have come back from this research has been fascinating.

Mike Domitrz:                   So
let’s dive into that. I assume the answer is engagement.

Thom Singer:                     That
was one of my favorite things is that there were really three buckets overall
that a lot of the stuff came into. It was plans, passion, and people. The plans
was sort of your goal setting, knowing what you’re trying to accomplish. I’m
surprised how many people go to work every day and don’t really know what they
want more than that week. They don’t have a year or three year or five year
sort of goals or plans, and how many people don’t feel it’s been communicated
from their company.

Thom Singer:                     Then
the second bucket is passion. What I’ve discovered is the people who are really
succeeding are people who like what they do. People, when you look at them,
they can put up with the BS that happens in a job, or in a career, if you’re an
entrepreneur, or whatever, if you really get out of bed and say I am so
fortunate, I love what I’m doing.

Thom Singer:                     Then
the last bucket was people. That made me really happy because for 10 years I
had been speaking about how do you connect better with people in a gadget crazy
world. Yeah, it’s that people portion is the largest bucket and probably the
one that excites me the most because that’s where all my success has come from.

Mike Domitrz:                   Well
and it’s a really important one. You know, here on the show we talk about
respect in regards to work, love, and life, and engagement has to do with all
three of those areas because all of them can be heavily impacted by lack of
engagement, or an unhealthy understanding of engagement. When you think of
engagement, let’s talk about each of them separately, when you think of
engagement in work, one, what does that mean, two, how do you avoid the
extremes, the overly communicating, constantly interrupting, versus the not
enough engaged?

Thom Singer:                     Well,
I think in a work setting, if you’re going to be engaged with people, you
absolutely, I mean I love the word respect, you have to respect that some of
those people are going to have a different outlook, whether it’s just on the
project that you’re working on or whether it’s life. I think we’ve kind of
gotten to a spot in our society where it’s okay not to respect people if you
disagree with them. You see that of course in politics, but I see it seeping in
to work and to other things. People are like, well that’s not what we stand
for, so screw you. It’s like, well, wait a minute. We’re not going to get
anything accomplished if you’re discrediting the people around you.

Thom Singer:                     I
think from a work standpoint, one of the things you have to do to be engaging
is that you have to be respectful of the people around you. Part of that is
listening. Some of us, myself included, struggle with that sometimes. It’s, you
know, you’re used to just jumping in and sharing your opinion. The women in my
life tell me that men tend to want to be fixers and that I certainly fall into
that. Sometimes you have to just sit back and listen and let the other people
be heard.

Mike Domitrz:                   I
love that. It’s such an important discussion too, so I appreciate you bringing
that up, that whole listening. What people say is it’s a skill. What I always
like to bring forth, it’s a practice. You have to continually work on it. It’s
not just a skill you gain and then you have. You have to constantly practice
listening.

Thom Singer:                     What
did you say? No, I’m just kidding.

Mike Domitrz:                   Well,
and because a lot of people think well I’ll listen for my chance to talk versus
listening, being fully present in the moment.

Thom Singer:                     Yeah,
and I always say that introverts are actually better networkers. Sometimes
people look at me and go, what, what are you talking about, because they think
of networking being like the cocktail reception where the extrovert is telling
the latest story a over a glass of wine, but the truth is is that introverts
will listen more when they’re in a conversation at a business event. Typically
then, because they’re listening more, they’ll hear what somebody says. That
gives them that ability to be a giver. It gives them the ability to help other
people achieve. So I’m always telling the introverts in the crowd, don’t be
scared. Take back the networking because the extroverts, when the other
person’s talking, they’re usually thinking, kind of like you said, what can I
say next, but the introvert is really sort of absorbing and listening to what’s
being said. As an extrovert, I’ve learned that I have to step back and teach
myself to listen and that I don’t always have to be the star of the show.

Mike Domitrz:                   Yeah.
You’re right, the extrovert, especially those of us who speak and all, we’re
used to that. People look for us to do that, so sometimes it can be harder to
realize I don’t need to do that. In fact, I might grow and become a better
person by not being what I’m expected to be on stage when I’m off stage. In
speaker world, people say always be the same offstage and onstage. Well you’re
in different roles off stage. That’s not always accurate.

Thom Singer:                     Yeah,
you can’t be the same onstage and offstage because offstage other people are
part of that conversation. Onstage, you’ve been hired to talk for an hour, so
you have to be a little bit different. I mean, you should be the core of your
soul, who you are as a person. I mean we’ve all met people who are one way at
church, and they’re one way at the office, they’re a different way at the bar.
I think you have to have that integrity and that consistency in sort of who you
are, but it’s certainly not in the way you behave.

Thom Singer:                     The
other thing that sort of triggered in my mind when you said this is about a
year and a half ago I read an article in the Harvard Business Review by a, now
I’m going to mess up his name, I think it’s Vivek Murthy. He was the Surgeon
General under President Obama. The article, I think it was titled The Epidemic
Of Loneliness. He talked about the fact that we have more tools to connect than
at anytime in history, and yet people feel more invisible, they feel more
lonely. It’s across generational lines. People don’t feel they have the
connections that they want and that human beings need. I think that’s one of
the things we have to remember.

Thom Singer:                     I
tell people all the time is that when you’re in a crowd put your phone down and
see people. I sometimes will tweet with the hashtag #seepeople because I think
we have to get back to that part where even if it’s just a smile, you don’t
have to talk to everybody if you pass by somebody on the street, but we forget
that people need that. Sometimes, the reason I remembered this, is sometimes
it’s the extrovert in the room who is the life of the party who feels very
alone, who feels very lost. We don’t assume that because of the way they’re
behaving. I think that’s one of the things that we have to do if we’re engaging
in the workplace was your question, but really everywhere, I think we have to
remember to step back and not just listen, but really kind of see the other
person as a whole human being.

Mike Domitrz:                   Well
and that goes back to your earlier point about respect, giving every human
being respect versus tolerating, versus putting up with, or just saying I don’t
have to. It’s one thing that I talk about, and we write about this fact, is
this statement of you have to earn my respect. No! That is one of the most
unhealthy concepts that could ever exist in an organization or an institution.
Because the moment I think that you have to earn my respect or I have to earn
your respect, I am less than you and I have to perform to your liking to be
treated with value. That’s an insane concept.

Mike Domitrz:                   I’m
thrilled you brought that up Thom about this idea of look, to be seen and to be
valued, that’s what respect is all about. I think it’s so beautiful that you
brought up that concept of, hey, I don’t have to agree with you, you don’t have
to like me, we don’t even have to think that our work is of the same level,
like maybe you don’t do as well work or I don’t do as well work, but to be
treated with respect as a human being, that’s something we should all be doing
for each other.

Mike Domitrz:                   Do
you see that as a struggle when people are trying to feel valued and seen, this
idea well you have to prove yourself before I’m going to treat you with
respect?

Thom Singer:                     Yeah,
and I think we live in a world that has become very judgy. It’s so interesting
because some of the people who talk about not judging then turn around and
judge other people. I recently started doing standup comedy. It’s something
that most people don’t take up at 51 years old, but a year ago I started doing
this as sort of an experiment to see what I would learn, but I really enjoyed
the community. One of the things I found is it was very odd. I go into a
business setting for the last 20 or 30 years, and I look like a business guy. I
show up. I know how to talk the talk of business. At a business event, if you
stand at a networking event with a glass of wine and you stand by yourself,
someone’s going to come up and go, hi, what brought you to this networking
event or whatever. Somebody is going to do that. There’s a host of the event or
whatever.

Thom Singer:                     What
I found very interesting was the first six months I was doing this, the comedians
in my hometown and stuff, they would look at me like who brought their dad. It
was really fascinating to be in a culture where nobody would speak to me. It
was hard for me for a while. I mean I almost didn’t come back because it was so
foreign to be in a situation where people would just kind of roll their eyes
and they were making assumptions based on the fact that I’m this older business
looking guy who looks like he had just spent the day working in corporate
America.

Thom Singer:                     I
found that was a huge learning experience to me is I’m now looking for the
person everywhere I go who looks like maybe they don’t feel comfortable, or
they don’t fit in, and I’m going up and talking to them. That was a huge lesson
for me this year.

Mike Domitrz:                   What
are … That’s a beautiful lesson because people don’t think of that. They
think, well the more older we get, the more respect you get, but it depends on
the environment, as you explained there. Now that you’re conscious of that and
trying to engage others, have you had some experience or stories that relate to
you now trying to do this and a discovery you had, or a relationship you
started, or a wow moment you had, an aha moment?

Thom Singer:                     Yeah,
I don’t think that there’s one I can point to like in just the last six months
of kind of discovering this through that being in a community where I was the
outsider, but I think throughout my life I have always tried to do that. I have
friends who are some of the most influential friends in my life who aren’t
people that if you had gone back in a time machine, back 30 years and found me
at my frat house in college and said by the way, your best friends in the world
will believe in this, or they will vote for that, or they will be part of that
community. I probably would have said, oh, you’ve found the wrong person time
traveler, because I think that we do, we sort of grew up in whatever community
we grew up in and we think that it’s always going to be that way.

Thom Singer:                     My
daughter was recently talking about one of my friends who has a little bit more
of an alternative lifestyle than I have. My daughter said, “You’re a
better person because she’s your friend.” I looked at my daughter and I
said, “Yup, that is an astute answer.” I think that that’s one of the
things that I’ve learned, not in the last six months, but over the last maybe
16 years, is we’re better people when we surround ourselves with people who are
different than us, people of different races, of different religions, who grew
up in different parts of the country or the world, people with different
political beliefs. I’ll actually say that out loud. I know nobody in today’s
society wants a friend from the opposite political party, different sexual
orientation. I think when we’re around people who experience the world
differently, I think we become better people.

Mike Domitrz:                   Absolutely.
I have friends who haven’t known me a long time, who maybe they come into my
life and they meet one of my closest friends. We ride together, we travel
together, as far as riding, bike riding, and we travel together. People meet
him and they go, “How are you two friends? He’s literally on the complete
political opposite spectrum of you. How do you engage in conversations?”
They seem to forget you mean the fact that he’s a great dad, you mean the fact
that he’s fun to be around, you mean the fact that he believes in his heart in
doing the right thing even though we believe that’s the opposite. It’s
interesting how people cannot find that possible.

Thom Singer:                     You
can be friends with somebody who’s different as long as you both come into the
friendship with respect. I remember my best friend in college, who he’s my
daughter’s godfather, he’s still like my brother, and this is, you have to take
this back into context of the time, this was the 1980s. I don’t know if anybody
would say this today, but he was Jewish. I was Catholic. Somebody asked us,
“How can you guys be so close when you come from competing
religions?” He and I looked at each other, it had never crossed our mind.
Once had it never crossed our minds in that format. He made a joke of it. He
said, well, he goes, “His religion believes Jesus was the savior, my
religion believes Jesus was a really nice guy. He goes, “Other than that,
we get along really, really well.”

Thom Singer:                     He
and I kind of rolled our eyes. We still make jokes about that comment being
made to us 30 years ago, but I think it’s one of those things that everything
doesn’t have to be a competition. I never viewed my upbringing around religion
as a competitive one. I think everybody, I think people try to divide rather
than unite.

Mike Domitrz:                   Yes,
and that’s the catch where if we’re going to be the person who’s trying to
ignite positive change through engagement, we have to be willing to go against
that, to say where there is division, where can I bring unity. Wouldn’t you
agree that’s really critical if you’re going to lead right now?

Thom Singer:                     Yeah.
I think if we’re going to be a leader, whether it’s at work or in our community
or in politics, I think there’s a couple of things. I think you have to stand
up and take ownership of your own life. I think you have to say, okay, I’m
responsible for what I do, at least from this day forward. I think there’s a
lot of finger pointing going on and a lot of blame going on. I think that the
real leaders stand up and go, okay, yeah that was yesterday, today here’s what
I do. I think that sort of ties into what you were talking about.

Mike Domitrz:                   Yeah.
Awesome. What I love about you Thom is you very much openly talk about the
engagement you have in, we talked about work, love and life, that you have in
your life, your family life, your personal life. I’ve been able to watch the
journey of your daughter going through school and all, and you’re very open
about that in social media too, which I love. So let’s talk about engagement in
our family lives and our personal lives. Not everybody has kids or not
everybody’s married, but how would you describe the key to that in ones love
life, personal life?

Thom Singer:                     You
know, I was very fortunate. I had parents who are good role models, who were a
good example. My dad always said that they could’ve had more money, but they
didn’t prioritize boats and trips. They prioritized experiences for raising the
children. It was kind of one of those things that when my mom, when I was a
teenager my mom got really ill, and I was a late life baby, so they could have
been empty nesters for a long time if they hadn’t had little surprise package
in their 40s and 50s. When I was a teenager and my mom was 58, she died. My
last conversation I ever had with her, we had this conversation where she
actually asked me, she wasn’t talking much at that point, she was very sick,
she said, “Would you trade me for a mother who would live longer?” I
got really angry. I thought why would you ask that question. That’s ridiculous.
Of course not. I think I was crying and I was upset. I was 17 or 18 years old.

Mike Domitrz:                   That’s
a powerful question, by the way.

Thom Singer:                     Like
I said, at the time I was upset by it. We started arguing about it. She said,
“Calm down.” She said, “I asked you this question because if you
wouldn’t trade me for a parent who would live longer, then you’re going to have
to deal with the inevitable of what’s going to happen.” We ended up
talking for an hour about my life after she died. I was a freshman in college.
She didn’t want to see me drop out of school. She didn’t wanna see me derail my
future. She had must see me hurt relationships I would have with people or turn
to drugs or other things. She was very clear that we had to have this
discussion. It was one of those things that at the time we had the discussion
and that was fine, but 20 years later I realized that she knew her purpose in
that conversation.

Thom Singer:                     I
mean, it must have sucked to have been 58 years old and know you were going to
die any day or within weeks, and yet in that conversation, she was the parent
of a teenager about to lose a parent. As a parent myself now, I realize the
gravity of having that conversation from her side of it. Yet, what the example
of that was was that that was the goal. She told me in that conversation, and
she was a religious woman, she said that when I was born, she was in her 40s,
she said a little prayer that she would see me through my 18th birthday, high
school graduation and off to college. Then she got kind of a wicked little
smile on her face and she goes, “My God, if I knew he was listening that
closely, I would have asked for a hell of a lot more.” But her point was,
she got everything she wanted. The goal really was raising the family, that
that was the priority and getting the kids up and out.

Thom Singer:                     I
think that example that both my parents set around that is something that I’ve
tried to be with my wife and kids is that we’re here for this purpose and
sometimes money is tight. My daughter went to a very expensive university.
Recently I was sharing with a friend the amount it costs me in debt, and I
haven’t carried debt, and it was more than I thought by the time you figure out
room and board. The friend said, “You never should have let her go to that
expensive of a university.” I thought, that’s so wrong because this was
the right school for the right kid at the right time. It is what it is and
we’ll get through it, but that was our priority was if you could earn your way
into one of the most prestigious colleges in the world, how do you not go if
that’s what you had spent 10 years making sacrifices to do. And so as a family,
as a unit, we’ve gotten behind both the kids and said, we’ll help you with
this, but now, I mean, you have to help us someday.

Mike Domitrz:                   Oh,
that’s beautiful. Curious, did they ask ever what that meant? They said at
someday you’re going to have to help us.

Thom Singer:                     No,
but I’ve nicknamed them retirement plan. No, I mean, they get the idea that, I
mean it’s not like we’re broke, we have some money, but we may not be able to
take nice trips when we’re retired and maybe if they’re wealthy they’re going
to have to find a way to do that, or maybe at some point they’re going to have
to live close to them and they’re going to have to provide some assistance if
we can’t, it’s not unlimited funds. That that’s what being part of a family
unit is all about.

Thom Singer:                     When
when my dad, who was older when I was born and sort of raised me with the fact
that when I was a teenager something could happen to him, he never expected
something would happen to my mother, his parents had died younger and hers had
lived longer, so this was not the prediction. After she died, he said,
“I’m sorry.” I was 18. He was 70. He said, “You might’ve gotten
the short end of the stick. I don’t know how long I’m going to be around.”
Well, he just passed away a few years ago at the age of 99. My father ended up
living quite a long time, but in the last five years we moved him into a
retirement village down the street from one of my brothers. All of us, but
especially that one brother, sort of stepped up and taking care of things that
he needed. That was part of being a family unit.

Thom Singer:                     When
he finally did pass, I remember sending my brother a letter, gosh I’m getting
teary eyed about it, sending my brother a letter saying thank you for all you
did for dad. His response was, you did it for mom. Nobody ever looked at it as
anything other than what a family unit does.

Mike Domitrz:                   Thank
you for sharing Thom. The beauty of that is everything you just shared is about
engagement. Being there for other people, what they need, listening, honoring.
So much beauty in the reality of what you just shared for everyone to think
about. I am doing that for my loved ones? Am I living a life that was teaching
those around me to do that for, would they do that for me in my hour of need?
It makes you reflect and think, so that’s beautiful. Thank you.

Mike Domitrz:                   Now
you’re the parent of the kids going to college. Now you’re on the other end of
the spectrum. Because one thing I loved about what your mom said that I thought
was so amazing was by you saying I wouldn’t trade, then you are able to be
grateful for the mom you have in that moment. That that was some of the …
That’s what I caught in that. I don’t know if that’s what she was intending at
the time, but by you saying that it allowed to lead with move forward with
gratitude.

Thom Singer:                     Well
and what she said in that, if I remember it clearly and it’s been 30 plus
years, 35 years or whatever it’s been, but if I remember it clearly it was,
“if you wouldn’t trade me, then you have to accept the realities of what
this relationship is.” The underlying tone of that is this relationship is
about to come to an end. However, you take this, you take what you learned and
you take the good times with you. Yeah, I think that the message was if you
wouldn’t trade, then you have to just be honest about where you stand, and
that’s the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Mike Domitrz:                   Well
yeah, and that’s the part that I love about it also. It allows you to sit there
and go, I am thrilled this is my mom, so you can also appreciate every day that
you have with that person. Some can hear that story and hear that, which is
beautiful too in and of itself.

Mike Domitrz:                   Now
you’re the parent of somebody going away to college. We just talked about all
those decisions that go with that. But now you have a child graduating and
getting engaged. Speaking of engagement, that’s a whole different discussion to
the word engagement, different definition, everything, are you already starting
to think how do I want to engage her partner for life? How do I want to engage
her for life as she moves on into this new relationship? How does engagement
play into those relationships?

Thom Singer:                     Well,
it’s interesting because when you said the word engagement my mind immediately
goes to engagement for matrimony because we’re living that right now.

Mike Domitrz:                   Right.

Thom Singer:                     We’re
in a year long countdown now for the wedding. When she went to college, she
didn’t know if she would ever get married and have kids. Her goal was to go to
the Fortune 500, go to Wall Street, and work in management at some C level for
some sort of a Fortune 500 company. She is now graduating college, starting her
own business in the women’s strength and fitness arena, and doing some contract
work for some people on the side so she can pay her rent while she’s launching
her business with no intention of going to work for a big bank or Wall Street.
And, freshman year she met a guy. You wouldn’t say, ” Oh yeah, go to
college and meet a guy freshman year. That’s what we would recommend.”
But, three and a half years later he’s still around.

Thom Singer:                     When
he asked for the blessing to ask her to get married, he and I had gone to a
Pittsburgh Steelers game, and it was the end of the night and he was trying to
say something. He’s a little bit shy and I realized what it was about happen. I
said, “Thomas, I think I know what you’re going to say, what you’re going
to ask. It’s okay.” He said, “I would like your blessing to ask your
daughter to marry me.” My answer was, “For three years,” because
my daughter and I are so close, everybody asked me, “What do you think
Thom? What do you think of Thomas?” My answer always was you couldn’t ask
for your daughter to date a nicer kid because he is a sweet, nice, caring kid.
He’s also a mathematical genius. I mean he’s one of the smartest mathematicians
in the world, and so I have no idea what he does on a daily basis because he is
like that smart.

Thom Singer:                     But
when he asked for the blessing, I said, “I have always said you couldn’t
ask for your daughter to date a nicer kid.” I go Thomas, “From now
on, I will give the answer you couldn’t ask for your daughter to marry a nicer
man.” I’m trying to engage him and their relationship as they’re adults.
This is now their their thing, and I am going to have respect. My wife and I aren’t
here to tell them what to do. We got her through college and now she’s got to
figure it out on her own, and she does it with this partner. He’s a nice guy.
He comes from a good family. All we can do is sit back on the sidelines and be
there if they come and ask, but I don’t want to be the type of person who
meddles. At the end of the day, we’re here … As your kids get older, you
become a guide, not a parent. They have to ask for that guidance.

Mike Domitrz:                   Yeah,
I love that language. That’s beautiful. You have a book that you really
recommend that you feel has a big impact. The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective
People by Dr Stephen Covey. Of course, a lot of people know of this book. It’s
obviously a bestseller. What particularly do you love about the book?

Thom Singer:                     Well,
so it’s kind of old school. The book is, God it’s got to be 30 years old. I
read it at a time in my life where I was young and lost and struggling and
someone recommended the book to me. It really gave me a roadmap of sort of how
to just be a good person who was going to do good things and going to have a
good life. I believe that it holds up today. I think that if you read it today,
it holds up and gives you sort of that guidance.

Thom Singer:                     It
gives you that roadmap of how to make decisions. Because careers are hard. Life
is hard. To be a highly effective person is not easy. That’s why there’s not
very many of them when you look around. I think that it’s one of those books
that came along at the right time and the right place for me. So when I get
asked that question, I always go back to that because there’s a lot of other
books that pop up and things that come and go and flash in the pans, but it’s
been a bestseller for 30 years and so it’s not just me that thinks it’s good. The
rest of society thinks it holds up as well.

Mike Domitrz:                   Absolutely.
You are the host of Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do. For our listeners, I want you
to check that podcast out, Cool Things Entrepreneurs Do, really, really neat.
Thom’s won awards for the podcast, so it’s really, really cool. To find Thom,
there is a uniqueness in the spelling, so I want to make sure all listeners
know that. Thom has an H right after the T, like Thomas, but no AS at the end,
so T-H-O-M, Thom Singer, just like it sounds like your singing, Singer,
S-I-N-G-E-R. ThomSinger.com. Find the podcast there. Find Thom there. You can
find Twitter, Instagram, all @ThomSinger with that H, T-H-O-M. Thank you so
much Thom for joining us today.

Thom Singer:                     Thank
you Mike. This was great.

Mike Domitrz:                   Absolutely.
For our listeners, you know what’s coming up next. That is question of the
week.

Mike Domitrz:                   Before
I answer this week’s question of the week, I’d love to ask you a question.
Would you please subscribe to this podcast, The Respect Podcast with Mike
Domitrz? By subscribing you can make a huge impact. Now you might be wondering,
Mike, how does my subscribing to your podcast make a huge impact? Well, here’s
how. For every person that subscribes, it raises the rankings of the show in the
search engines. So for people who care about respect like yourself, when
they’re doing a search for podcasts, they’re more likely to find this show,
thus providing an awesome opportunity for us to spread more respect around this
world. All you do is hit subscribe under your podcast. Plus, the second benefit
is by subscribing you automatically get every episode right into your phone or
whatever device you’re listening to the podcast on. It happens automatically,
so subscribing also makes your life easier.

Mike Domitrz:                   Now
let’s get into this week’s question of the week. Oh, and by the way, you can
always ask your questions of the week by joining us on Facebook in our
discussion group. It’s called the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Go there on
Facebook and ask whatever questions you would like me to answer and/or address
in this segment of the show. Then listen to each episode to find out when your
question is included.

Mike Domitrz:                   This
week’s question is, “Mike, how do your friends most profoundly impact your
life?” For me, this answer is very easy because my friends are such
wonderful people that they are role models for me. I look at them as spouses, I
look at them as parents and think wow, look at the love, look at the guidance.
Am I showing up that way? Am I being that loving in that moment? Am I being
that appreciative, that supportive, that helpful? Thus, it challenges me to
want to be a better me because of watching them. That’s what I love about
having wonderful, caring, loving friends. They make you want to be more of your
best self. Not just when you’re around them, but every day of your life. It’s
one of the greatest gifts a friend can bring you.

Mike Domitrz:                   Do
you know what I would love? I would love to hear your answer to this week’s question
of the week. Would you please answer what your answer would have been if you
were asked that question today on the show? All you do is go to our Facebook
page. We have a special group where we have these discussions called the
Respect Podcast Discussion Group. The Respect Podcast Discussion Group, and
share with us what would your answer have been to this week’s question of the
week. And, take a moment, post us a new question for future episodes. What
question would you like to hear me answer on an upcoming episode? That’s all
done on Facebook in our special group, which is the Respect Podcast Discussion
Group. Can’t wait to see you there.

Mike Domitrz:                   Thank
you for joining us in this episode of The Respect podcast, exploring work,
love, and life. This episode, like every episode, is brought to you by our
organization, The Center For Respect, which you can find it,
centerforrespect.com. Of course, you can find me, your host, Mike Domitrz, at
MikeSpeaks.com. Thank you so much for joining us.

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