91: Connectivity with Expert and Author Ginger Johnson

Learn the importance of “Connectivity” and how to be much stronger with connecting by listening to expert Ginger Johnson and host Mike Domitrz.

 
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Connecting Tactics based in Respect:
  1. Greet People (look in the eye, smile, & say, “Hello”)
  2. Be Curious (be interested – not trying to be the “interested one” yourself)
  3. Ask a safe, open-ended question (what is something great about your week so far?)
7 Elements of Connectivity
  1. Know Your Why
  2. The Mindset (need it to be right to be fully present)
    • Asking safe, open-ended question
    • Safe, compliment genuinely
  3. First Move
    • Do I stay in this conversation or go a different route in that moment (leaving that conversation)
  4. Y in the Road – choose to engage or move on.
  5. Pursue your path. Engage the path you just chose.
  6. Follow-up: immediate subsequent action
  7. Follow-through: the maintenance of the relationship
 
POW = Positive, Objective, & Willing
    This combination makes for the best connectors.
 
Ginger’s BIO:
If you want to learn more about her, she invites you to simply visit gingerjohnson.com
 
If you’re really curious, you’ll likely Google her and find more – like her TEDx talk, 2 books, YouTube channel, and various and sundry other information.
 
For now, she thanks you for your time and attention. So, let’s get to it. I give you Ginger Johnson.
 
 
Get a hold or and/or follow Ginger.
World HQ: +1.515.450.7757 PST
gingerjohnson.com = blog, HQ + books & services
 
Connect With Ginger:
 
 
Books Ginger Recommends: 
  • You Are A Badass, Jen Sincero
  • Creating Customer Evangelists, Jackie Huba & Ben O’Connell
  • Win Without Pitching Manifesto, Blair Enns
  • Secrets of Six Figure Women, Barbara Stanny
  • The Martha Rules, Martha Stewart
  • Drive, Dan Pink
  • Animal Vegetable Miracle, Barbara Kingsolver
 
 

YOUR HOST: Mike Domitrz is the founder of The Center for Respect where he helps educational institutions, the US Military and businesses of all sizes create a culture of respect throughout their organizations. From addressing consent to helping corporations build a workplace free from fear (reducing sexual harassment and helping employees thrive by treating them with respect every day), Domitrz engages audiences by sharing skill sets they can implement into their lives immediately. As an author, trainer, keynote speaker and coach, Mike Domitrz loves working with leaders at all levels. Learn more at http://www.CenterForRespect.com

 

 

READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPTION of the EPISODE HERE:

 

Mike Domitrz:
Welcome to the Respect podcast. I’m your host Mike Domitrz from mikespeaks.com where we help organizations of all sizes, educational institutions, and the US military create a culture of respect. And respect is exactly what we discuss on this show, so let’s get started. This week, we have Ginger Johnson with us. Ginger will energetically share her message and mission of connectivity, the human human kind, not the fiber optic kind. Thank you Ginger for joining us.

Ginger Johnson:
Hey Mike, it’s a pleasure. Thanks for the invites.

Mike Domitrz:
Well, happy to have you here. I want to dive right into this. You have a story about a beer festival and a couch. What’s that story?

Ginger Johnson:
Well, you picked a zinger. I love it. So imagine yourself in a really, really large convention center. Full out, thousands of people, concrete floors, noisy revelers, and you’re having a great time. And you’re walking up and down these aisles, you’re getting a little taste here and a little taste there, you’re seeing friends and so forth. Well, you’re walking in one of these aisles and you spy somebody ahead of you and like, oh, there’s my friend.

Ginger Johnson:
And you think, I’m going to creep up on him. I’m going to surprise him. So I creeped up on this person and they happened to be sitting on a white [inaudible 00:01:20] couch. Maybe it was leather, I don’t know. I saw them from side profile and I ran around the corner and I plopped myself on their lap. And guess what? I made a new friend. It was not the person I thought it was but he became a new friend. So that’s that story. That’s a connection.

Mike Domitrz:
That was a beer festival or that was a conference?

Ginger Johnson:
It was. So yes, it’s the short answer. I believe it was for the CBC, which is the Craft Brewers Conference. It’s one of the biggest professional events for the brewing industry in America, perhaps in the world. And it was at that conference where I thought I saw my friend JD. It was actually my new friend now, Andy.

Mike Domitrz:
Very cool. All right, well you talk all about connectivity. We’re about respect. How do they, one, what is connectivity? And then let’s discuss how do they go hand in hand?

Ginger Johnson:
Yes, let’s. So connectivity, Mike, is all about the why and the how of connecting with other people. It’s actually bigger than just people to people because we’ve got a great big world and we’re connected with place and emotion and things like that. I primarily focus on the human to human kind, like you said, not fiber optic. And it’s creating and developing relationships on purpose with a service mindset. How that is connected to respect is integral. It’s fundamental, it’s in the DNA of connectivity.

Ginger Johnson:
It’s about respectful relationship development and that can span the gamut, Mike. That’s where respect comes in. To have a mutually respectful connection is to have a meaningful relationship.

Mike Domitrz:
And what do you think is sort of the stereotype people have in their mind when they hear connectivity that isn’t true?

Ginger Johnson:
They’re thinking it’s networking. But they think that if they’re introverts, it’s hard. That they think that it’s shallow, that it’s the card show, that it’s the should, it’s the have to. And in fact, it is not any of those things.

Mike Domitrz:
So let’s dive into that. How is it not each of those things? For instance, how is it not networking?

Ginger Johnson:
So networking came into Vogue in the early 1900s, Mike. And the definition is to develop social capital. Okay, we can get that. We develop social capital, meaning we invest ourselves in situations around people, in relationships to build a life we love. A lot of times it’s business focused. Business is a part of life, as you well know. So that’s where that word came from in modern parlance. So what it’s [inaudible 00:03:47] to, for a pretty collective consciousness is that it’s the card show.

Ginger Johnson:
It is, “Oh, I have to go to this thing.” Or, “My boss said this.” Or, “I feel like I need to.” And you bring your cards, you pass them out. It’s tip of the waves. It’s not the depth or the meaning that connectivity is. I’m not knocking networking, I just don’t use that n-word and I don’t focus on that. I’m really interested in what’s underneath the surface, otherwise. Connectivity is the burg underneath the surface of the water, Mike. So if we think about tips of the waves or the top of the iceberg, what’s underneath is connectivity.

Ginger Johnson:
It’s where we want our lives to be. It’s where growth happens, it’s where respect engages. It’s all those things. So I run into that a lot and I love it when people bring it up because I really want to delineate the difference with networking and connecting. Same with a variety of other terms. The whole introvert, “Well, I’m an introvert. It’s hard for me.” Well actually it’s not. It’s a state of mind. It’s a mindset, which is my second element of connectivity from my book, The Connectivity Canon. If you know your why, why do you want to connect with people to begin with, Mike.

Ginger Johnson:
Having this conversation is a perfect example. So why did you choose to invite me? While we can explain that off air, I am grateful for it. I’m grateful for the connection. Now let’s see what we can do with it because there’s meaning there. There’s purpose. I want to be of service to you because of the connection we have. And that is not networking. That is more than networking.

Mike Domitrz:
So if it was networking with the focus be, what I can get out of you versus how I can serve you.

Ginger Johnson:
Quite possibly. Like I said, I don’t study networking. The common understanding though is that card show of the sales push, how many people. It’s a numbers. It feels kind of fake, forced, phony. Like Dan Payne says, sometimes it’s bad after shave and watered down [inaudible 00:05:39]. And connecting isn’t any of that.

Mike Domitrz:
So let’s look at that. And connecting, I get, right? You want a connection to a human being. Some people are sitting out there going, well, I mean, how important is that in work relationship? If I give them what they need they get what they need out of me, why do I need to connect any further than that?

Ginger Johnson:
That’s a terrific question, Mike. The people that are asking that, sadly it needs some help. And what we need, it’s not denigration or judgment. We really need to back up. If we feel that way, something is really missing. Respect for self, first of all, talking about respect. If you respect yourself, in my opinion, you want to develop meaningful relationships. Now, the depth of those is different for everybody and it’s different for every relationship.

Ginger Johnson:
So they can still be on a continuum of I want to serve that person. So well beyond the perfunctory value of a sale so to speak. If we skeletonize it and say, “I need to meet somebody because I need to make money.” Okay, totally legit. However, that is only going to go so far. It’s going to not be as fulfilling. It’s not going to be as long lasting. It’s not going to be as fruitful in every single way. Because think about it, if you come to me and say, “Hey Ginger, I’ve got this widget. Would you like one?” And I don’t know you, well, give me a reason. I don’t know you.

Ginger Johnson:
There needs to be more to it. However, if you and I go play racquetball every week or we run into each other every week, we have a developing relationship, and I ask you one day, “So Mike, what do you do?” “Why I sell widgets.” “Great. Tell me more about it.” That’s the difference, Mike. And to force it to only be out for the juggler, it’s just like you’re always going to have to hunt for more. Connecting is this mushroom cloud, this slow building a thunderstorm of fulfillment and productivity.

Ginger Johnson:
And yes, sales come along with it when you know how to connect. So that’s part of the magic right there. Sales will happen when the service mindset of connectivity is in place.

Mike Domitrz:
That’s awesome. What are some respectful connecting tactics that you love to teach to help people connect?

Ginger Johnson:
Love that you asked that question, Mike. This is a great question. So let’s get to the tactical. Yes, some respectful connecting tactics. Greet people. This seems like a no brainer yet must be a lot of us wandering around without having that switched on. Looking somebody in the eye, giving them a smile, saying hello in a genuine way is critical. It is everything. We want to be acknowledged. It’s respectful because it shows somebody that you acknowledge them.

Ginger Johnson:
It shows them that you see them. That’s a sign of respect. It opens a door for any possibility. When we feel seen, we feel valued. When we feel valued, we feel respected. When we feel respected, we engage. That’s a pretty good continuum. Another tactic is once you’ve made that greet then be a curious one. Engage in a conversation, being interested and being curious. Not trying to be the interesting one in the room, Mike.

Ginger Johnson:
If you’ve ever been in one of those conversations or actually it’s kind of a monologue delivered at you, and you think, gosh, again, suspending judgment. It’s not about the person. It’s they just can’t shut up about themselves. They’re not listening, they’re not a connector because they’re so involved with their own perspective for whatever reason, that they’re not even thinking about the connection of what’s coming out of their mouth with the person in front of them.

Ginger Johnson:
So be interested, be curious. And the third one is a great way to open a conversation because a lot of people ask about this, Mike, a great way to open a conversation is to ask the safe, pleasant question. Open ended question. For example, what kind of music do you enjoy? What’s been a good thing about your week so far? Those kinds of openers are something that everybody can answer in their own way, comfortably, non-threatening, and at their own pace.

Mike Domitrz:
I love that. Something as simple as music or what is something great about your week? It brings in a positive right away.

Ginger Johnson:
Yeah, exactly.

Mike Domitrz:
And so you were mentioning the why, right? Connectivity’s based in the why. How does somebody ID their why?

Ginger Johnson:
I teach workshops, Mike, and I’m glad you asked that question. Your why is your vision. It’s your purpose. I would ask anybody listening right now to the show, any time you’re listening, close your eyes and envision yourself three years down the road. Now, I used to get asked this right out of college, what do you want to be doing inside here? This is not that exercise. I want you to close your eyes and envision yourself. What do you see yourself? How do you see yourself?

Ginger Johnson:
It’s not about what you do, it’s about who you are. So if we can close our eyes and envision ourselves, visualization, as you probably know very well, Mike is incredibly powerful. If we can imagine the aspirational us doing the thing or the things that we love that make us hum, that’s where why is. If we can envision ourselves, then we internally inspire ourselves. It’s not about external motivation, it’s about internal fire, inspiration.

Ginger Johnson:
So that vision, that why, that purpose, that’s what we need to get really clear on. It’s easier for some than others, Mike, but I how I teach it is to ask people to shut their eyes, to imagine themselves, to see themselves. This isn’t all wonky and funky. This is real, there’s science behind this. And when you can do that, okay great. That’s actually our starting point. And then we engineer, how do I get to that?

Ginger Johnson:
If you want to be that, do that, whatever that saying is, great. Hold that firmly, hold it high, don’t let it fall. Now, let’s figure out how you have to feel and your mindset that goes with that. So your why is your vision, your purpose for how you see yourself. And then the mindset is the next one. In fact, why is the first element of connectivity. The mindset is the second one because then you have to set your mind. You have to have the right attitude. Okay, if I’m going to do that thing, if I’m going to make that vision a reality, then I really have to set myself up mentally and emotionally to be willing to do that and get there.

Mike Domitrz:
All right, so now there’s, you’ve got the why, right? So let’s say you got that figured out. Now there’s the seven elements that connectivity.

Ginger Johnson:
You want me to explain this?

Mike Domitrz:
Yes, please.

Ginger Johnson:
So when I shifted into connectivity, Mike, I realized that it was totally my jam and then I needed to figure out what the heck it was so I could explain it to everybody. It was one of those things that was very intrinsic for me and I was able to identify it. So I’m glad, that’s my why. My why is to connect the world. So I wrote my book, the Connectivity Canon and I bring that up because in the writing of that book, which was, okay, how do I teach this?

Ginger Johnson:
How do I give this to the world? A framework made itself known and that framework are the seven elements of connectivity. It’s in a grid. I’ve also made it into a cosmos because cosmos is really fun to explain, and so the why is the first element. It is knowing your vision, your purpose, that greater vision of yourself. The mindset is the second one, it’s the attitude, it’s the deliberate state of mind we need to adopt and we need to reframe into if we are out of sorts.

Ginger Johnson:
And the sidebar here is, everybody has a bad day, everybody has a moment. Give yourself that grace and then get back into your mindset and keep going. The third step is first move. So now we get into the tactical. The why and the mindset are very vision and mind space. The next ones are extremely tactical because I’m a [inaudible 00:13:05] person and I want to be able to give people tools they can use right away. The first move is asking that open-ended pleasant question.

Ginger Johnson:
At my post office, I’m doing this all the time. The people in my post office in Talent, Oregon, they know me well. They engage, conversation starts. We bring community together. There’s magic in there, Mike. That first move is that safe open-ended question. It can also be a compliment. So you want another tactic, compliment somebody genuinely. It can’t be a fake compliment, but compliment them genuinely and say, “Wow, Mike, that’s a really sharp jacket. How long have you had that?”

Ginger Johnson:
And you go from there. A compliment, as long as it’s safe and genuine is an extraordinary first move. From the first move we go into the why in the road. And the why in the road is where in that, “Hey Mike, that’s a great jacket.” I decide as putting that first move out there, am I going to stay with this conversation? Is there somewhere it could go or do I keep moving? And I call that stay or go. I don’t call it stop or go because there’s 7 billion people on the planet. There are a few more choices.

Ginger Johnson:
So I decide in that moment I’m going to either, “Okay, great to meet you.” Or, “Great jacket.” “Thanks.” And I just carry about my day. That can be what I call a micro-connection. And if you say, great, you can say, “Gosh. Well, I live in Talent too. Let’s go grab a cup of coffee.” “Okay, great.” Or, “I’ll see you at the dog park.” Or whatever is. Or you go, “Hey, nice to meet you.” Or you just let it go comfortably and you keep going.

Ginger Johnson:
The next one after the why is pursue your path. That’s whichever branch of that why you choose, Mike. So if you can envision that why literally, that first move has gotten you up to that why and then you either stay or go, and then whichever path it is you choose, you pursue that one. So you’re going to build that relationship or see where it can go or you’re going to keep moving. From there, the last two elements of connectivity from the framework are where there’s the most opportunity for both momentum as well as a vulnerability of non-momentum, whatever that is.

Ginger Johnson:
What I mean by that is when we follow up with somebody, say we’re in that post office, I compliment you on your jacket, a real conversation begins like, wow, okay. We find out we both have something we’d like to talk with the other person. And so we say, “Let’s go ahead and get together for coffee, or tea, or a walk or whatever.” That’s followup. Followup is the immediate subsequent action from that lead up. And then the follow through is we get together for that cup of tea and like, “Wow, this is great.”

Ginger Johnson:
And we’re both engaged and we want to keep going and so forth. And so the follow through is how we decide that rhythm is going to move forward. It’s the care and feeding, as I call it. It’s the maintenance, it’s a growth of relationship and it is the most opportune one for both success and for death, quite frankly of a possibility because how many people would pull open a drawer right now and have business cards in there that they must follow up with? Not a judgment thing, just a common thing.

Ginger Johnson:
So those are the seven steps of connectivity in that framework.

Mike Domitrz:
All right, so how does POW come into that?

Ginger Johnson:
Well, we got one of the first ones. It’s the positive. So POW stands for positive, objective, and willing. When I was writing a book, again, the world doesn’t need more glib acronyms. However, this one fits because connectors are a lot of things and just like they are not other things that POW came to be, Mike, because I realized that the most effective, most impactful connectors are positive, objective and willing. That positivity is infectious, it’s contagious, it’s what the world always needs plenty of.

Ginger Johnson:
And that mindsets, that positivity is critical. The objectivity is suspending judgment. We’re human, we judge. There’s no way around that. At the same time, if you are aware of it, that’s again where respect comes in, “Look, I don’t necessarily agree with what Mike is saying. I’m going to listen. I want to try to be objective. I respect him enough and I respect him as another human that I am going to listen, go along, whatever it is.” And by the way, there’s a lot of trust in objectivity because you’ve got to trust yourself and then you have to trust that everything is going to unfold safely.

Ginger Johnson:
I mean, 99.9% of decisions, there’s no fatal moves in. And then the willing wraps it all up. The willingness to be objective, to be positive, to suspend judgment, to be respectful. That willingness is an extraordinary trait that we don’t talk about enough. The gameness, if you will, to engage and see where you can take something, that’s what willing is.

Mike Domitrz:
I love it. Now, before show we just communicated a little bit and I know that there’s a story behind the yellow sweaters. We started with a story, so I want to come back to a story. What is the yellow sweaters?

Ginger Johnson:
Picture us at another conference. [inaudible 00:18:01] lots of conferences. There is a ballroom, pretty conventional hotel conference, a couple of ballrooms open. And there’s three, 400 people sitting at round tables. There’s a speaker up on top of the elevated stage. And as a connector, I always look for the opportunity to make myself known in a way that’s a magnet. And the yellow sweater is all about that.

Ginger Johnson:
So this room of three or 400 people, I went to this conference very intentionally. I had a purpose and part of what I do in my purpose, Mike, is I plan my wardrobe. Now, I’m not on TV, I am a professional speaker as part of my services. And so I want to wear things that people easily remember. And that yellow sweater is one of them. So I pack this yellow sweater and I was listening to the speaker and what the speaker was talking about was fine but it wasn’t totally my jam, whatever.

Ginger Johnson:
What I wanted though is I thought, I want to connect with some people in this room. So speakers said, “Okay, the microphones are over there and over there. And you can step up to one and we’ll answer any questions you have. Okay, great. [inaudible 00:19:11], this is another tactic for everybody who’s listening. If you want to get noticed and you want to connect, wear something that’s a bright, solid color. So there’s me, I’m in the audience. I got the yellow sweater on, I formulate a question, I step up to the mic.

Ginger Johnson:
Well, first part of that tactic is I’ve stood. So most of the room is sitting down. So I stood, I’m in a yellow sweater and I’m standing in the microphone waiting. So the people behind me, which I was probably in the front through to the room, they can all see me. Okay, so it comes around, “Yes ma’am, what’s your question?” And so I say, here’s another tactic, “Hi, my name is Ginger and I’m with…” And I say my company name, “I have a question for you.” Or if I have a question I ask a question.

Ginger Johnson:
It needs to be a meaningful question. I also really like to help the speaker, I like to shine the light on a speaker because one thing speakers hate is when somebody takes their thunder. And so I say, “Would you please comment on…” Or, “Would you tell me more about…” That is a huge respect for them, by the way, Mike. That lets the speaker know that you want to know more about where they’re coming from. That’s why they’re on the stage. You are noticed.

Ginger Johnson:
I was in that yellow sweater so sure enough, fast forward to happy hour and a bunch of people come up to me like, “Oh yeah, you’re the one who asked that question.” And we’re off and running.

Mike Domitrz:
That’s powerful. Simple concept. I mean, simply what we wear makes an impact, right? Can.

Ginger Johnson:
[crosstalk 00:20:28]. The darker the colors, the harder it is for people to notice you. So I know a lot of people like black, grey color. I almost personally never wear it, Mike, because I fade out and I don’t want to fade out. I want to be attractive to the people who are interested in positive change with connectivity. And that’s one of my methods. That’s one of my tactics.

Mike Domitrz:
Love it. Now, I want to make sure everybody can you, Ginger, because you’ve given a lot of great how to, which I love. Your website’s very easy, gingerjohnson.com, just like it sounds.

Ginger Johnson:
Yes indeed. And also I have a very robust YouTube channel. I am very active on LinkedIn. I would welcome connections. Let me know you heard about it on Mike’s show. Twitter and I’m learning Instagram. So those are my primary platforms, and I am hosting my first summit this fall. I’ve done lots of different events but I’m pulling stops out and hosting at the Art of Connecting Summit, that is also available on Ginger Johnson.

Mike Domitrz:
Awesome. And that’ll definitely be out because this’ll be airing wave after that point. So that’s great for our listeners to know they can find that at gingerjohnson.com. Thank you-

Ginger Johnson:
All my events are on that page, of course. [crosstalk 00:21:25].

Mike Domitrz:
Yeah. And we have all the links that you just mentioned. We have them all in the show notes, so all of our listeners will absolutely be able to find that. So thank you.

Ginger Johnson:
Thank you. What a pleasure. Keep it coming.

Mike Domitrz:
Oh, absolutely. And for our listeners, you know what’s next? It is question of the week. Before I answer this week’s question of the week, I’d love to ask you a question, would you please subscribe to this podcast? The Respect podcast with Mike Domitrz. By subscribing, you can make a huge impact. Now you might be wondering, Mike, how does my subscribing to your podcast make a huge impact? Well, here’s how. For every person that subscribes, it raises the rankings of the show in the search engines.

Mike Domitrz:
So for people who care about respect like yourself, when they’re doing a search for podcast, they’re more likely to find this show, thus providing an awesome opportunity for us to spread more respect around this world. And all you do is hit subscribe under your podcast. Plus the second benefit is by subscribing, you automatically get every episode right into your phone or whatever device you’re listening to the podcast on. It happens automatically.

Mike Domitrz:
So subscribing also makes your life easier. Now, let’s get into this week’s question of the week. Oh, and by the way, you can always ask your questions of the week by joining us on Facebook and our discussion group. It’s called the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Go there on Facebook and ask whatever questions you would like me to answer and or address in this segment of the show. And then listen to each episode to find out when your question is included.

Mike Domitrz:
This week’s question is, “Mike, what’s a quote maybe a lot of people don’t know about respect that you really like?” Well, this week’s quote is from a former professional basketball player, Julius Irving. His quote is, “I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important and a lot greater than popularity.” And that’s the end of the quote. And here’s why I love this, because you can make horrible choices and be very, very popular. You can make wonderful choices and not be liked and you’re making the right choices.

Mike Domitrz:
You’re treating others with respect, you’re treating yourself with respect. That’s why respect should be at the foundation of decision making, not whether people are going to like this or like me when I make this choice. Now, the better question is, am I respecting myself in this choice? Am I making the respectful choice in this moment for all people involved, right? That’s a great question to ask. Do you know what I would love? I would love to hear your answer to this week’s question of the week.

Mike Domitrz:
So would you please answer what your answer would have been if you were asked that question today on the show. All you do is go to our Facebook page, we have a special group where we have these discussions called the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. So the Respect Podcast Discussion Group and share with us, what would your answer have been to this week’s question of the week. And if take a moment, post us a new question for future episodes. What question would you like to hear me answer on an upcoming episode? That’s all done on Facebook in our special group, which is the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Can’t wait to see you there.

Mike Domitrz:
Thank you for joining us in this episode of the Respect podcast, exploring work, love and life. And this episode, like every episode is brought to you by our organization, the Center for Respect, which you can find it, centerforrespect.com. And of course you can find me, your host, Mike Domitrz at mikespeaks.com. Thank you so much for joining us.

 
 
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